#no matter what mystical monk be happens

[extraordinaryseven]

Regarding BTVS’ fandom treatment of Buffy is such a historical study. Joss Did Those to her character but also: Buffy even in the early seasons got so fucked up?? She came back with optimism but SO MUCH happened to her. In the first season she literally DIES. It’s no wonder by the end of the show (S6 specifically) she was depressed after dying and coming back again!! But this time for longer!! The girlie needed to find reasons to get back into it… Dawn and her friends after experiencing being ripped away from heaven bro….

Im glad in recent years people see how Buffy is such a great character and stopped hating her as vehemently. I genuinely can’t fathom how so many people just bashed her. Her character is nuanced and shit, she is allowed to be a girlboss who fails sometimes and needs help getting back up. When she gets back up she’s stronger. Smh.

[evilminji]

Back on my: Holotuber Jedi Youngling - OC Thoughts >.>

Prev <-

You think folks debate at first? Shtick or Real Thing? Like? No... no WAY could that be one of those Mysterious Mystic Space Cult Kids. No WAY. They would NEVER let their kid be unsupervised on the Net.

But like... (and since I'm a She, gonna use She, but realistically could be any pronouns here) she LOOKS like she's recording from a...? Is that a closet? This one looks like a vent. THIS video is definitely some sort of maintenance area. So she's definitely sneaking...

Ooooh! Thaaaat's a Jedi! REAL FUCKING JEDI. Just dropped down silently behind her. Arms crossed. Mouse droids be snitching. BUSTED.

:T

"Uuuuuuh, h-heeey, Master Uvalii. Fancy seeing YOU here!"

"Yes. Quite interesting isn't it? Since you should not be able to access this area at all, much less to achieve holonet access. Of which we are both aware you are expressly Forbidden To DO unsupervised."

".........I can explain?"

"Please. Do."

*feed ends, chat goes fucking NUTS*

Like? Oh SHIT. Baby Jedi in troooouble. But also? Oh no! What's gonna happen?! Are they gonna be okay?! S-should they TELL somebody? What do Jedi do to kids who disobey them? Does anyone actually KNOW? What DO any of us know about them!? Someone find their Com Code! MA! MA, I need you to yell at space monks! An adorable CHILD MIGHT BE AT STAKE!!! D:>

Even coming BACK on? For a supervised feed? Going "no, I'm just in trouble. Have to right paragraphs and meditate on 'why I felt the need to do this' (even though I KNOW why, not that they'll LISTEN. They just hope I'll meditate until I come to an answer they LIKE)" under the offscreen supervision of a teacher or Creche master?

Whole ass Net gonna be like "youngling! Blink Twice if they're holding you hostage! We can afford bounty hunters! We got a group pot thing going already!!! Aaaaaaaa-!"

Like? *waves at the camera and chat* she TOLD you. They don't believe you. This is part of WHY she wants to do what she's doing. Palpatine's and his Master's machinations have been building for a while. Eroding trust. The Jedi have become strange, dangerous, semi-mythical cryptids with magic powers we must HOPE are benevolent.

Not people.

Why would they expect some unfeeling, magical, sword-wielding space legend to be patient or kind to children? To even have the capacity? We are said to kidnap children and be unfeeling. Can not reach enough people to show otherwise. To reveal the mundanity of our lives. The traditions. The norms.

Food, children, laughter.

The Common Good.

And like? She obviously isn't gonna name Sith-ly NAMES. Not on CAMERA. But her lil "why I wanna play the tooka game and chat about lunch" speech? Convincing. Calms chat down. Still in trouble, mind you. But... provided it's SUPERVISED? And they work out some sort of effective moderation? Alright.

It's a matter of SAFETY, youngling. And no matter HOW much good you wish to do? They will NOT be sacrificing children to achieve it. That is NOT the Jedi way. There are plenty of old masters who would live nothing more then to ramble all day into cameras, if only to here themselves talk. (Oh? Good to know. Guest speakers pog?)

Like? Imagine making a game. Have a "mystical sage" character you TOTALLY BASED of Jedi in it. And your feed gets? Flooded with XD reactions in response to some smol bby streamer playing it? You go to check it out. Cause you're kinda a big deal on your planet. And?

Oh No™

That tiny streamer? Is a tiny JEDI streamer. Who is sitting there, in the stills, going O.o like "Wut." And the next still? Her lil friends are pulled in. The next? A teenager. The NEXT. An adult. The one after THAT. A few adults looking over her shoulder. Then a CROWD. All deeply, deeply confused looking.

The comments are DYING. Howling with laughter. The Jedi were so earnest. Trying to identify which Era you must be referencing. Which sect. But the head dress... cultural, maybe? It doesn't fit with the features though. Could be adopted. A hint at, I believe the term was, "lore"? No, no, those are DEFINITELY padawan beads! But so MANY? In THAT order?

They aren't even connected to a braid! And he's supposed to be a Master, right? But, wait. Perhaps it's meant to suggest he is a Padawan of the Force itself? A student of life? No, that wouldn't make sense! Stolen? It could suggest he has TAKEN the beads? Is regurgitating stolen texts without true understanding? Much like wearing bead he did not EARN?

They keep going and going. Ripping your character design to SHREDS. Picking it apart. Not even meanly! They are genuinely confused. AND IT ONLY MAKES THE CHAT LAUGH HARDER. Because it devolves into a MARATHON, after the game has been paused, of chat spamming different character names? For the Jedi to go "???" Over.

T...that's not? What? How does he even EAT in those robes? And those ones don't seem very non-humanoid friendly. Is he FLOATING HIS SWORD WITH THE FORCE? WHY!? Just keep it on your belt!!!

And? Now every game developer in the galaxy is PARANOID AF. Either make their mystics Very Obviously NOT Jedi rip offs... or shoot a "if I pay you $20 will you consult on something real quick" email. It's just... just easier man. Last guy got laughed into oblivion. Oof.

They can bill it as "Realism" or something. See guys? WE do or reasearch! Give us your credits!

Oh YEAH? Says the growing fan base of this Funky Lil Monk Child. Then put you game where your communication organs are. Send her the game, you cowards.

Do It.

Cut to "oh no, guys! The sorta-jedi died! What? Next objective? No. No we gotta give him a funeral! Oh good, we ca-BURY HIM?! What!? No!!! I could understand if he was from a race that held beliefs that bodies must be returned to the soil from whence they came, but this guy is a SORTA-JEDI! Absolutely NOT!"

"Let's cut down some trees. WE are building him a PYRE. Never ran one of these, but I can look it up. Gimme a moment. Okay. Draaaaag, him on to it. Where's his weapon. There! Thanks chat! On it goes too. Okay. Looking it up..... got it. Ahem...!"

*hold funeral for the sage character by burning his body*

*mods are IMMEDIATELY created to change the "burial" scene to a "Funeral pyre" with somber music*

Just? I can not let go? Of how the subtle shift would spread? Not in shining senatorial halls, but in class rooms and living rooms, dingy pubs and long hyperdrive flights? Anywhere boredom might be found and "hey check this out" might spread? Where someone else, might overhear and get curious?

Lik?? Imagine being the bounty hunter, who fuckin HATES Jedi, thinks they're sanctimonious BASTARDS, hearing someone snort laugh. Just... just fucking CHOKE on their cheep beer. Oh? Now everyone's interested. What's funny?

It's a teeny, tiny, lil jedi youngling. Playing that new Bounty 5 game. Unrealistic as hell. But they are going "I am a MASTER of stealth. A LEGEND of the hunt. You will not see me. I am sneaky. So, so, sneeeeakyyyyy!" As they concentrate on sneaking through back alleys.

Only for their character to fall RIGHT of a ledge, bounce against three buildings, smash into a parked Speeder, and roll right into a cut scene. Where they are call the "greatest bounty hunter of all time".

They look so incredulous.

"Are you SURE? Cause I'm fairly certain that phrase alone is banned for the trouble it causes, near most Bounty outposts. Could be the concussion talking though!"

They are? A sarcastic lil SHIT. Roast EVERYTHING. Know a surprising number of them. Given that they gave the Duros support character a modded in hat. Named him Definitely-Not-Cad. The fake look mustache REALLY sells it. Yeah, Bane. Clearly not you. YOU don't have a mustaches. *watches as she unleashes the Not Cad Bane like a highly tactical meat thresher on legs* brutal lil shit. They like her.

Granted, it's only BECAUSE it's not real she does so.

But I just? Have so many ideas? Spam the Galaxy with "this is who we are. We are people. Develop bonds with us. Care about us. KNOW us." Because the Sith can not possibly kill us all. Can not stop truth, so widely spread. Light dies, when you smother it in closed hands, hidden away in dark and long forgotten places. When you let fear dictate your actions.

It thrives in the open. With people. With the chance to SPREAD. Grow. Bloom.

It's about talking and caring. Being heard. What better place? Then on the screen in their pocket?

@babbling-babull @hypewinter @hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @spidori @spidori

[quitealotofsodapop]

So in your Tiger Monk AU how many kittens does Sanzang end up having?

Was it an easy birth or were there complications?

How many sons and/or daughters?

What are their names?

Do any of his cat suitors (particularly Azure) try to court him by showing him that they can get along with and take care of his kittens?

Only to met with the kittens’ claws and Sanzang’s hissing (and that’s just when the other pilgrims aren’t around 🤣)

Do any of the demons that still try to eat Sanzang go after the kittens, thinking their flesh and blood will have the same effect as their baba’s (mama?) ?

And which of the pilgrims (and Macaque) ends up being the kittens’ favorite babysitter?

Prev.

While it would hilarious to torment our dear Monk with a large litter (Tigers sometimes get up to seven kittens/cubs at a time), odds are he ends up with the average 2-4 kittens.

Tripitaka takes to the "mother/mama" title more readily than the male counterparts. After all, if the Bodhisattva can be referred to in both male and female terms, why can't he?

His worst symptoms (in his opinion) is an overwhelming craving for organ meat. He finds it disgusting, but he needs that iron.

The only reason Tripitaka isn't swamped by suitors like before is because they're all afraid of whom was able to father the Great Monk's young (i.e. himself via river magic).

Tripitaka only choses two names at first, A boy and girl, telling his disciples that they can choose any extras when the time comes. He wants to honour his parents, Chen Guangrui (陳光蕊) and Yin Wenjiao (殷溫嬌), whom he nor his children will ever truly know, so he ensures both names contain a character from each.

Wēnhòu/温厚 - "good natured, warm and generous". Wukong got confused after hearing this name since it sounded like "tender monkey". That was unintentional, but Wukong excitedly thought the second character was to honour him, and Tripitaka was too tired to change it

Bōguāng/波光 - "reflection of sunlight on waves". A very pretty name. Ao Lie started laughing when he heard it and wouldn't tell Tripitaka why until the gang encountered Prince Mo'ang. "Master is naming his first born son Boguang!" Now all the dragons think Tripitaka did it as a sign of good faith to dragon kind.

Tripitaka has no delusions on the matter; he is male from birth, and the only reason he knows he can survive this mystical pregnancy is 1: A Demon's natural ability to shapeshift, 2: His increased healing ability, 3: Surprising reassurance from the Six Eared Macaque of all people.

(*the Pilgrims have set up camp for the night, all asleep save for a certain monk. Tripitaka is praying, still unfathomably worried about his and his child's health.*) Macaque, manifesting from the shadows: "Cut the mopping, fluffy. I can hear it from across the valley." Tripitaka, eyes fixed on the fire: "I'm sorry..." Macaque, sighs and groans: "My ears... aren't just for show you know. They don't just hear the Now, but also the Past, and Future. It's all in the wind." Tripitaka: "That's a marvellous ability to possess. But I fail to see how it will help-" Macaque: "You're going to be fine. You and your kids. Thats what I've heard." Tripitaka: (*surprised but secretly ecstatic with the news. Rubs hand on stomach where a lot of kicking it happening*) Tripitaka, warm smile: "Thank you, Liu'er Mihou. You've put a great worry of mine to rest." Macaque, acting nonchalant: "Whatever. Just don't want to be kept up all night by your panicking. There's three by the way." Tripitaka: "...wait, THREE!?!" Macaque, evil smile: "Enjoy!" (*shadow portals away*)

The cubs likely only arrive after some years (demonic pregnancy and all), and whilst it would be nice and clean for them to only arrive after the gang completes their Journey...

Imagine the utter chaos that would occur if the Great Monk's children decided to be born at Lion Camel Ridge? >:3

The Pilgrims and the Brotherhood are arguing, causing a huge fuss when Tripitaka, like a character in a Victorian romance novel, faints upon the nearest surface.

Guanyin teleports on scene and tells everyone to STFU - baby Golden Cicadas are in-bound!

The process is long and tiring, but doesn't have many complications. The main issue is trying to keep the parent awake - Tripitaka depleting all his energy to bring his children into the world.

Wenhou/温厚 (First Born): A feisty little girl. Is out kicking and hissing before her eyes even open. Has more prominent white markings than orange or black. A right diva/princess of a kitten, if something doesn't go her way, she lets everyone know about it. Bajie can't say no to his baby niece, and spoils her rotten despite Tripitaka's objections.

Boguang/波光 (Second Born): A confused little panther (black-furred tiger) who immediately gets into an argument with his older sister when she kicks him. Mostly chill but quick to sibling-on-sibling violence. Most mischievous. Loves hiding in people's hair, and due to blending in and causing his family to panic searching for him; his fave is Macaque (the feeling is mutual).

Tangzǐ/唐子/"Little Tang/Tangy" (Third Born): The runt of the litter. Tangzi took a much longer time to arrive than his siblings and even longer to start crying, worrying his family immensely. Guanyin even stepped in to rub the baby's chest until they got a solid angry "Mew!" from him. Eventually though, he's heartily eating and has as much hunting instinct as a sheep. Loves his Uncle/Big Brother Wukong the most-

HEY WAIT A MINUTE:

When did he get here!?

But yeah, 3rd babu is LMK Tang. All lazy and hungry and giving the big kitten eyes to get what he wants. He's named "Tangzi" as a joke to how much he looks like his mama + a pun on how much he exaggerates things like his hunger or how big that bug he saw was.

Tripitaka sighs tiredly. He never thought he could love someone so much until he met his cubs. He instinctually grooms them clean as a mother tiger would, and only allows his closest companions near enough to see them.

In drafting these Tripitaka river-kiddos I realised I accidentally did something XD

As for suitors and those who'd wish the kittens harm - it will be certainly a task to get anywhere close to them with not only their protective mama tiger nearby, but also their vigilant uncles!

If a demon ever actually managed to harm one of the babies to try and consume their divine energy - Guanyin themselves would step in and tear them limb from limb.

The gang are forced to stay at Lion Camel Ridge a little longer than planned. The demon populace are surprisingly accepting, and even joyous by the Great Monk's situation! One "of their own" is going to make it up the ranks of Western Heaven, and has produced healthy cubs that not even the Buddha can deny the preciousness of!

Azure attempts to greet the kittens personally shortly after the birth, only to get three tiny swipes at his nose, followed by a much larger one from Tripitaka himself. He's more in love than he could ever be.

[coraniaid]

trick or treat!

This is another opening scene to a fic I never finished.

This one goes back a couple of years. It was going to be a Dawn POV Season 6 AU in which the Scooby Gang break Faith out of prison early. Never really quite worked out exactly what I wanted to do with it beyond that premise: I had several ideas, but I never settled on how they'd all fit together.

But looking back at it now I think the intro isn't too bad, even if it's a bit rough in a few place.

The thing you have to keep telling yourself is this: Dawn isn’t real.  

Not properly real.  Not the way she used to think she was; not the way everybody else is.  See, until a year or so ago, she was just this mystical glowy ball of energy, floating about aimlessly somewhere in the universe.  She didn’t have a mom.  Didn’t have a big sister.  Didn’t really have much of anything, as far as she knows.  She can’t even tell you what that was like: she doesn’t remember any of it.  Maybe being a big green ball of energy didn’t feel like much at all.

Then last summer some stupid monks had cast a spell, and suddenly everyone remembered things a little differently.  Suddenly the Slayer has a sister; which meant that Buffy Summers had a sister.  Not a brand new sister either: all of a sudden Buffy had had a sister ever since she was just a little girl.  Suddenly an ancient mystical force that had existed since before the beginning of civilization was five foot tall, fourteen years old and in serious danger of flunking geography.

(And now, about a year later, she’s back to not having a mom again.  Or a sister.  That’s ironic, she thinks.  It's something, anyway.)

The point is, none of this happened quite the way Dawn remembers it.  It didn’t happen the way anybody else remembers it either.  She wasn’t really there, whatever the monks made people think.  Whatever they made her think.  She isn’t really real.

But she does remember it.

Dawn remembers meeting Faith for the first time almost three years ago.  She’d showed up the same month Buffy had come back from wherever she'd run off to in LA.  (Buffy had never told Dawn where she’s gone or what she’d done while she was there.)  That had been a bad summer.  Maybe worse than the months when Mom and Dad had gotten divorced; worse than the months before they'd all moved out to Sunnydale in the first place.

At least then, when things had gotten really bad -- all those shouted arguments late at night, lingering and smoldering on into the morning only to reignite the following evening -- she’d had Buffy to talk to.  To protect her.  To tell her that none of this was her fault.  That even when she heard her name, it wasn't really her they were talking about.  That Mom and Dad were fighting about boring grown-up stuff, like money or whose parents they’d go to visit for Christmas or the long hours Dad kept spending at the office.  She knew they still loved her, no matter what, because her big sister told her it was true.  And she'd known that whatever happened to their parents she’d always have her sister.  At least, that’s what she remembers thinking when she was too young to know better.

That summer though, she’d found out she was wrong.

It all started the night Mom found out about the Slaying.  The night the cops came looking for Buffy, talking about a murder.  The night Buffy had staked a vampire right in front of Mom.  The night they’d stopped being able to pretend.

Dawn had been upstairs, at the time.  Faking sleep.  At least, that’s how she remembers it. 

She remembers voices drifting up from the kitchen below.  Mom shouting at Buffy that she was crazy, that she had to go to the police.  Buffy raising her voice too, angry and frustrated.  Not backing down.  Dawn hadn’t heard what Mom said next.  She’d only found that out later.  She’d just heard – and felt – the kitchen door slamming shut in response.  She'd lain in bed for what felt like hours afterwards, with a pillow pulled over her head, just like she was a little kid again.

It was only much later, by chance, that she found out what Mom had said.  If you walk out this house, don’t even think about coming back.

Afterwards, when Buffy had gone, she’d crept back downstairs.  Found Mom still in the kitchen, head in her hands, staring at the door.  And maybe Dawn was kind of furious – even not knowing what her Mom had said yet, she’d had a premonition that some sort of line had been crossed, that she wouldn’t see Buffy again for a while – but Mom just looked so sad, sitting there by herself.  Worse than she ever had during the divorce.  Like she didn't know what to do.

So Dawn had bitten back whatever it was she’d been planning on saying, whatever she'd thought about saying in Buffy's defense, and just reached over and given her mother a hug.  They’d just stayed there, together, waiting to see what happened next.

(Except, of course, she hadn’t done that.  She hadn’t been there at all.  It hurts, now, to think that she hadn’t been there.  Not in real life.  That Mom had had to go through that summer all alone.  Just like Buffy had, out in LA.  She hadn't been there for either of them.  She couldn't have been.  She wasn’t real.  She's never really been real.)

Nobody had really thought Buffy was going to come back.  Not her friends -- clever, funny Willow and brave, reliable Xander -- and not her Watcher, stuffy old Mr. Giles.  And not Mom. That had been the big secret they'd all danced around for months.  Growing quiet whenever Dawn came into a room, looking at her all sad and serious.  Her sister was gone, their faces said, and she wasn't ever coming back.  They just hadn’t had the guts to say that to her face.

But Buffy had come back, eventually. Proved them all wrong. That was what Buffy did.  That time, anyway.  That time she’d come back.

And then – only a couple of weeks later – a new Slayer had arrived in Sunnydale.  Staked a vampire right outside the Bronze, made a big impression on all of Buffy’s friends, and invited herself back to Buffy’s house for dinner.  And that’s how Dawn remembers meeting Faith. 

Faith had been in the house for all of five minutes when Dawn realized she was probably the coolest person she was ever going to meet.  Way cooler than Xander.

And obviously Faith was, without even trying, immediately infinitely cooler than Buffy.  Her sister might have fought demons and dated a vampire and saved the world a few dozen times, but was still, at the end of the day, just Buffy.  Just her big sister: not as cool or as smart or as funny as she'd like to think.  Kind of a pain, if anything.

She was such a loser, and Dawn had missed her so much.   Buffy had proved her wrong too, when she shown up outside the front door that morning at the end of summer.  She hadn’t thought she was ever going to see her again.

She’d been so worried.

And now Faith was here, and everything was going to be okay.  She wasn't going to let anybody hurt Buffy again.

Yeah, right.

Dawn actually met Faith for the first time in her life earlier this afternoon.  Less than a week after Buffy’s funeral.  The doorbell rang, Dawn went to answer it, and there she was, looking just like Dawn remembered.  Maybe a little older, maybe a little less cocky.  But still Faith.  Still the girl who was supposed to have been Buffy’s replacement.  Still the girl who had come to their house for Christmas one year and had come back to hold a knife to her Mom's throat the next year.

And maybe Dawn isn’t real, maybe she isn’t supposed to be here.  But Faith’s not supposed to be here either.  She's a criminal.  She's a murder.   She's evil.

Faith’s meant to be in prison.  Where she belongs.

(And Buffy’s meant to be alive, but she…)

“Hey, kid.  I--”

Dawn had slammed the door in Faith’s face before she could say anything else.  Before she could lie to her.  Maybe she'd fooled her the first time, with her shoplifted leather jackets and her stupid lying stories and her five by five bravado.  But Dawn's not going to let her fool her again.  She’s not a dumb kid anymore.

(Later that night, when Dawn's let her guard down a little, Willow and Tara let Faith in.  Let her sleep on the couch in the living room, let her stay right in the house.  In her house. Buffy’s house.  As if she can just come back here and take over Buffy’s life after what she tried to do.  After what she did.)

Traitors, she thinks.

Sure, Dawn knows the arguments.  She’s heard them all plenty of times.

She knows that Willow had tried rebuilding that Buffy robot, but it was too badly damaged after the right with Glory.  That Willow and Tara can use magic to create the illusion of Buffy patrolling, but that the magic can’t make it physical.  That sooner or later the vamps are going to figure it out.  That the Hellmouth is still here, and they need a Slayer to watch over it.  And unless another Slayer was called, after Buffy -- which neither of them seems to know for sure -- that means they need Faith.

That's why they'd spent the summer casting spells and hacking into police computers, messing with her records to get Faith's sentence reduced to almost nothing.   That's why Dawn met her again (for the first time) today.  Because Angel says Faith is good now.  That she can be trusted.  That's she's going to protect them all.

She understands the arguments.

But that doesn't mean she has to like it.  It doesn't mean she has to accept it.

You don't belong here, she thinks that night, staring down at Faith's sleeping form suspiciously from the top of the stairs.  You were never supposed to be here.

But that's the thing though, isn't it?

Dawn was never meant to be here either.

[trainsinanime]

Everybody is posting their opinions about the interview about the Miraculous Ladybug season 5 finale, and I feel like I should as well, but I'm not sure I have much to say. There's just a few things that stick out to me:

First of, it's just very funny to me that the team started out with Bug Noire, and worked backwards from that, and that's why Adrien ended up in the isolation chamber. One of the most controversial things about the entire finale happened because Marinette wearing both Miraculous would be cool. That's just plain funny to me.

Second, I have not yet seen a better option for the finale. They did kind of write themselves into a corner there. The story is all about Marinette, but Adrien is the one to whom all the plot points attach. What do you do with that? Compare and contrast the movie, which I saw on the same day as the finale: It's all Marinette's story, until the big finale, where she just lays there and watches as Adrien and Gabriel resolve the main story by themselves. That option sucks, too. It's not terrible, but it's disappointing. I think all the arguments of Adrien can't be there because of Chat Blanc or Ephemeral are nonsense, even if they come from the show's head writers. But it's true that Adrien can't be there, because if he is, the story becomes about him instead of Marinette. If you know a fanfic that found a good way to resolve that, let me know!

As an aside: I know there are people who are disappointed that we didn't learn more about Emilie and the past of the adults, but I think that was never going to happen. I know I made a post about this years ago but I can't find it, but basically: Emilie was an interesting mystery for fans, but she was never relevant to the plot, least of all Marinette. This is the same kind of stuff as with the Marauders back in the days of the Harry Potter fandom, where a certain subset of fans went wild over all the hints. But those were never promises, they were just flavour, telling us the world is bigger and adventures have been going on since forever.

My final and most important point here is something quite different: I am grading Miraculous Ladybug on one hell of a curve. Have been doing that since the first episode I watched. I am willing to forgive most any jank in the storytelling if I get some cool and cute moments, and the show is full of those. So in that regard, the season 5 finale was no problem for me whatsoever. Yes, there is a lot of jank, but also a lot of cool stuff, and that makes me happy. There's a kung-fu crocodile! What more needs to be said?

(Aside: I know there are people who hate the kung-fu crocodile, and that the Couffaine boys are now mystical monks out of nowhere, with no explanation. I assume these people either hate fun or are arguing out of bad faith. If there's one thing in the finale that was obviously objectively 100% a good thing, it's that the crocodile knows Kung-Fu.)

Now, I'm not saying that you should grade the show on a curve, I'm just saying that I do. Yes, it's not entirely rational. Yes, there are plenty of shows out there, including shows aimed at similar age ranges, that don't require this. But if I didn't grade Miraculous Ladybug on a curve, if I didn't rate cute and fun and exciting over great interesting story, if I didn't separate the potential for fanfics from the actual way the stories are told, then I wouldn't be in the fandom to begin with. This is explicitly not a defence or apologia, it's just an explanation for why I have no trouble disregarding the janky parts. I know others disagree, or agree in principle but then some of the janky parts were just too bad for them and broke the spell, and that's valid.

But personally, I have no major problem with the season 5 finale. Yeah it was weird and quite a few decisions were stupid and didn't help any overall story. But I had fun, I'm looking forward to season 6 and I am going to write more fanfic. That's what matters to me.

[hieromonkcharbel]

Beauty and Hesychia

"In the dazzling flesh of divinity, you have shown natural beauty to be even more beautiful O blessed Virgin, we bless the One whom you bore."

Of the Athonite Life it is said: "Sacred matter, that which is given to God, is replete with divine grace. The souls of the saints fly and flutter about, luminous and full of light. The relics of the saints perpetually emit the same uncreated and scintillating light; and indescribable and uncreated fragrance pours from their tombs. Everything around is filled by the beauty of their contrition and the fragrance of heaven." Yet, if such is so for the monk, then such must also be true for every person filled with grace and part of the Body of Christ. "True beauty is captivating; it pours forth love. Furthermore it teaches man to love goodness, offering and sacrifice." One's entire sojourn and journey along the Christian way proves to be a theological initiation - an initiation into the life of the Divine. "It molds a person like a deifying womb and nurtures him for a new life. One comes to believe in the Incarnation of the Logos of God and in the deification (theosis) of that which He assumed. One comes to live and believe that God is love and perplexing beauty, that the unveiling of His love is a revelation of beauty, and that His beauty is an offering, freely given from the bounty of His goodness. With this great beauty He refashioned our human substance by His Incarnation, Passion and Resurrection." From out of the withering, fleeting prison of our sin, we pass through the hour of judgment which breaks us down and resurrects us, toward enduring beauty and the freedom of inexpressible loveliness and the maturity of stillness. What we learn from the monk is that all men can be saved and become participants in the divine beauty through participation in the Lord's sufferings, through life-bearing mortification. To this end, Archimandrite Vasileios offers us the following reflection:

The monk’s life is beautiful because it is associated with that awesome hour of judgment and liberation. The monk’s life is a life of repentance and in the final analysis, is also a life of Transfiguration. It is the life of asceticism, labor, pain, endurance and tears. For this reason, it is crowned with divine and mystical consolation, and the beauty of spontaneity, truth and stillness. It is a life of philokalia, the love of beauty.

The monk pursues his love of beauty through his asceticism. He is an artist who grapples not with mere paints, sounds, or words, but struggles instead with his own entire being. He fashions himself. He asked to be given totally to God, to be fashion and by Him so that he can say willingly: “Not my will but Thine be done.“ When this happens, everything is given to him in that hour when he least expects it. His whole life bears the seal of that hour of crucifixion and resurrection. All his life becomes that hour of judgment from which springs the beauty of freely given salvation and the maturity of everlasting hesychia.

Then he either speaks, or writes, or builds, or chooses to remain silent with a comfort and a source of strength which are different. This is because Someone else is functioning instead of him. Someone else is speaking and writing, building or remaining silent.

Every hour becomes his sacrifice, his self-offering and thus the emergence as well of a perplexing beauty. Each of his trials becomes a blessing and so he remains silent and grateful. His entire self becomes a wound; his entire self becomes a spring of rejoicing. He lives Good Friday and the Resurrection at the same time. Every day he dies and every day he is resurrected. He does not live life as mere biological existence, but rather feels it breaking forth from the tomb at every hour to conquer death. Everything is a divine gift and a wonderful revelation. As the Lord said: "Do not be anxious about how you are to speak or what you are to say in that hour." In that hour, which is eternity, everything is given to him most vividly.

The true and genuine monk, the authentic monk, puts on no pretenses of being something he is not, because he is true. He moves and behaves unaffectedly. His entire being radiates the beauty that is within him. Better put, through his trials and endurance, divine beauty is revealed. His youth passes, he grows old but is rejuvenated. He becomes a "good" old man, a peaceful old man, in short, a monk. There is a comfort and a light which is not created light. There is a youth which is eternal, a humor which blossoms upon the tough branch of asceticism, and a life which ascends from the tomb. Such a monk, since he is liberated, plays in the morning of the Resurrection like a carefree child upon the sandy beach of the sea, upon the same seashore on which walks the resurrected Christ. He is tranquil because the Lord has mortified Hades with the lightning flash of His divinity.

A Beauty exists which abolishes death; a Stillness (hesychia) exists which abounds with eternal blessedness and splendor for all of us.

Archimandrite Vasileios

Abbot of Iveron Monastery, Mount Athos

Beauty and Hesychia in the Athonite Life

[hestiashearthfire]

I've been trying to meditate to try to talk to Apollo, and I was wondering if there are tips you can give me to a newbie? I feel like whenever I meditate that I'm not really following along when I try to do guided meditations or I get distracted with outside noises. Sorry for the long ask and thank you so much in advance.

I may not be the best person to ask, Anon. I am notoriously bad at meditating, but because I suck at it, I’ll share some thoughts and tips that have helped me.

First, never go into meditation expecting anything. I see stories of “mystical experiences” all the time, but I’ve never really had something wild happen. I’m not saying those things can’t happen, just that I think they happen far less often than the internet suggests.

Second, we’re now meditating, but it’s awful; what do we do now? Well, nothing, honestly. Let’s just be up front with each other—serious meditation is hard, and it isn’t for everybody.

But isn’t meditation supposed to be good for us? Yeah, it sure is, but you shouldn’t expect to be able to meditate like a monk immediately. Instead, try a few things:

Get comfortable. Don’t sit in a lotus position if it hurts. Hell, don’t even sit on the ground if it hurts. Don’t sit anywhere it hurts. Sit comfortably. If you can’t cross your legs, just sit in a chair. If you’re having trouble sitting up straight, use pillows. Lay down for all I care; just be comfortable and alert.

Set realistic expectations. By realistic, I mean really realistic. If you’re just starting or really having a hard time, five minutes is plenty. Work your way up to longer periods, and don’t feel like you need to sit for long stretches.

Think outside the box. We all probably have had the image of a zen monk in our head at one time, but other meditation styles exist. If you don’t like sitting, try mantra meditation with a mala, walking meditation, or meditation with an image, candle, or physical object. Chanting phrases can help us to focus, as can holding beads, or focusing our eyes rather than closing them. I also find chores can be meditative; folding clothes and washing dishes are often moments of prayer for me.

This is all just general advice of course, and I’m no expert, by any stretch of the imagination. So what should we do when we get distracted? The simplest answer is keep going! You’re a human being; you’re going to be distracted at some point, no matter how well you meditate. When I veer off course, I find it helpful to focus on my breath, take a moment to reorient myself, and continue. With practice, you’ll have an easier time focusing.

For me, I just try to remember my own limitations. I’m disabled; I hurt a lot. On a good day, I can do maybe ten minutes of seated meditation. I use prayer beads a lot because having something physical to hold helps me, and it’s a quick practice for even busy days. Sometimes I don’t get to meditate, and that’s okay too.

Anon, it seems like you’re doing your best. Keep at it! You’re not failing because you’re distracted; that’s part of the process. Keep going, and remember to give yourself grace; you are an imperfect human, but we all are. Pray to Apollo for help, and remember the gods love you just as you are.

[seasideretreat]

What do you believe in?

Things are bad. We can't do anything right. But there ought to be something about things that make us realize what in the world things really are, and how we see that things are good or bad. Belief. When we do good things, we realize what things are and how things work. But what does that mean? I don't know. I don't know. Everything is mad. Everything is crazy.

Can we do good things? Perhaps. We realize what things are by doing them often; then we grow in power and strength until we fall down beneath the yoke of heavy resistance: there's got to be a unification of a clear trajectory that makes us redeem the exigencies of proper realization - but there ain't no clear trajectory for the proper realization of proper things.

I know many good things. Of course, nothing is really known: there ain't no reality that we can see, nor a big thing that we can fathom. But throughout life, we realize that there is much to do, there is a lot to realize and we can make it work through real work, that is somehow created. I don't know. The creation of good things is automatic, but there is nothing real about the reality of ordinary things that we do not know. I don't know. The vast majority of ordinary things might work if we do good things, but we cannot realize the creativity of ordinary things if we do not create the creation of ordinary creativity. I don't know. The things that happen in real life are real, and therefore we do good things, but there is nothing to be done, we don't know what is known, nor what is not known: we get by. This is a horror.

Have you been to China? It's a nice place to be, I suppose. I have only been to Taiwan. There are many old Confucian-style mansions, temples, buildings. I like Confucian architecture. Everybody does. It's beautiful. There is no Daoist architecture, at least not in the same way. In Korea, especially, Confucianism is big. We want these things to be true because they are profound. Confucianism is one of the great philosophies of the world, and it is very inspiring, because it works. I have been taking a course on Confucianism, and its very interesting. But I don't have time to take the full course; maybe I don't need to. You can learn a lot by just perceiving the world. Confucianism isn't so abstract as people as people think. You can learn to understand it by reading the Analects and the Classics. But it doesn't matter. We don't know anything. I saw ads for a self-mastery course by the Shaolin Temple Europe. I think its very seductive. I'd pay for it if I wasn't so poor. Who doesn't want to be a shaolin monk? But it is not so great as it is seems. I had ChatGPT generate a course for me, and it is was very close to what they actually offer. China is a country with many secrets, many great things that we need. We need China. I guess that's why Macron tried to pull people towards China. However, China is not just a mystical country of powerful teachers and wise men: it is also a dark, corrupt place where fools dominate the lives of wretches. But I like Xi Jinping, I think he speaks well and he seems driven by benevolent forces. He might be surrounded by dangerously deranged figures but he can't be that bad, after all, being the leader of China is little different than being the leader of the church, although I could be wrong - hey, it's a communist country, and things were very bad in the Soviet union, but China is different, its Confucian as well, and Daoist. I don't know.

It's not easy to be the best you can be in the world of things. Everything is very strange and the power of the things is squandered on ridiculous things. The word of words is just a random sign, because the friends of the world have given up their make-shift work for tired friendship. Let us not forget the story of the idea. Good things happen. What is known is known. I know this. But there has to be a force for ordinary things, things that are known, otherwise we lose everything. The power of things is that they are known. I know the power of ordinary things. We know what is real. We know what is not real. I create the manifestation of the face of God in my automatic visage, which is just a thing. Everything we know is generated by the full sense in which real things gather under the rubric of life.

I know that good things might happen in the concise sense of good things, but that is not the essence of what is known: good things are only real when they correspond to some oblique sense of what is real. The real is an illusion, but there can't be any true necessity in the correspondence of pure reality, in the way we do what is necessary in the creation of pure things. You are a powerful figure, and your reality is automatic and great, but there cannot be a forgetful trajectory in the creation of automatic things that is real or unreal by any outside thing, it is all the same.

ChatGPT generated a shaolin self-mastery course for me, so I suppose I am really close to being a shaolin monk right now. Its funny, it doesn't really teach us anything. Its just more stuff to talk about, more small talk maybe. its actually really hard to learn anything. These things are all hypnotizing forces that teach us something we can never learn. I was an enthusiastic embracer of the stocisim-fad of the early 2010's. That's still going strong. People are still claiming to be stoic and trying to "steward stoicism". It's sad because stoicism was never really a life-philosophy anyway. The whole point of it is that it is full of tragic examples of people who followed through the teachings of these philosophical masters to absurdity. Everything is absurdity, that's an old Jewish truth that I often think of. And this is something cool, Judaism is so powerful that it actually repulses people who are not born into it. But we can still all read the Kaballah and think we are learning something. So it is the same with shaolin Buddhism. I took the ChatGPT course, what have I learned? What is the essence of Shaolin? Hell, what is the essence of Robin William-style comedy? I believe in concise statements that unveil a world for us. I will say this then: the difference between shaolin and stoicism is that shaolin seeks inner strength, whereas stoicism seeks inner peace, or even happiness. But that is just a rough estimation. I'd say, shaolin doesn't even believe in happiness. They believe in a healthy mind in a healthy body, of course. They were also trained by Bodhidharma, which means they do not believe in official Buddhism, they only believe in seeing this reality that exists in the Buddhist practice. In China, people engage in religious activities such as sacrifices, self-flagellation, divination, sacred ritualism, prayer to the ancestors, meditation and martial arts (I am thinking first and foremost of Tai Chi). The understanding of religion in China therefore happens on a level that involves beliefs, but also Chineseness. So who is a Chinaman? I suppose I am not, because I was not born in China. I don't have Chinese family. But I can be Chinese, if I have to be. Anyway, who is a Chinaman? He who believes in goodness. China's philosophies are more in tandem with modern times than Christianity, perhaps. On the other hand, we see a distinct modernity in Christian liturgy. Poor philosophy, it really has no beliefs that it can rely on that are not horribly ethical.

What do Christians believe? That there is a God. They justify this belief with theology. They celebrate their belief with the church. What do Buddhists believe? That you can achieve enlightenment. They justify this belief with philosophy. They celebrate there belief with monastic life. So we see, there is a difference between Christian and Buddhist monasticism. Christians enjoy daily life, Buddhists don't. Buddhists enjoy devotion. The Daoist perspective on this is that the celebration is philosophical itself. Confucianism believes that daily life is a celebration itself. It's all very confused. Look, in the end fools like me only have Schopenhauer to give structure to their religious viewpoint. And Schopenhauer's theory is probably quite limited, perhaps even delirious. We might say that the beatnik response to this is: God exists. However, the belief in God is not a complete religious statement. There has to be a meaning here. We have to see what the world gives us. We need data. Buddhism gives that data in the form of the Dharma. Christianity in the form of the gospel.

I suppose we need to move away from religious ideas. In China, intellectuals have transcended religious thought already many times. In a way, Confucius is already post-religious. How does philosophy give meaning to our lives? In many ways, Shaolin is a philosophical religion. We can see that Buddhist views easily translate to a philosophical meaning of life. But outside of that whole "the world is a dream" rhetoric, what can philosophy do to give meaning to our lives? Stoicism was a fad in the early 2010's, because it said that if we lived our lives logically we would find happiness. This appealed to many people, because it seemed to say we can be meaningful purely through independent thought. The man of independent mind, and all that. Of course, this is a tradition that goes back to the old opposition between stoicism and epicureanism. But people often don't know that the biggest group in philosophy in these ages was always the skeptical school, that honestly doesn't seem to do much to give our lives meaning, simply stating that we don't know anything. (Epicureanism by the way said that we could live our life solely for the sake of gaining pleasure, which was an end in itself.)

It is said that Mohammed used to sweat and shiver when he was about to divulge a surah to his congregation. Generally, the Quran is deemed to be highly notable for its literary greatness. It is also clear that this literariness doesn't translate well. In certain forms of Islam, translation of the Quran is even a secret activity, only holy men being allowed to perform a translation of the sacred book.

I asked ChatGPT and it connected the question of self-realisation to the concept of existentialism. I suppose existentialism is a kind of philosophy that helps us give meaning to our life: in fact, that's all existentialism is. But where Buddhism states that life is meaningless and then gives us a meaning in seeing this fully, existentialism states that we don't know what life means and then gives us a meaning in discovering a meaning. We can't live with the latter, but many people can live with the former.

[nat-20s]

Part 5 of Wonderful! Au. *boyband voice* banter’s back alright!

Also on AO3

~*~

Jon: Hello everyone, and welcome back to our regular format. If my husband being horribly soppy-

Martin:-hey!-

Jon: -turned you off the how, this should be a refreshing return to formula, though I can’t guarantee there won’t be further horrible soppiness-

Martin, performatively under his breath: -most people thought it was charming-

Jon: -as that tends to happen when one is recording with the love of their life. If last week’s episode is the only one that you like, too bad, I’m back in full form, and should be at least through the rest of the season.

Martin: This show doesn’t have seasons? Due to the whole lack of a narrative thing?

Jon: I was referring to spring.

Martin: Oh, right.

[A beat passes.]

Martin, flatly: Oh. Great goof hon.

Jon, smug: Thank you.

Jon, sincere: Also, before we get properly started, I did want to actually thank everyone who sent well wishes.

M artin: Yes! We got positively inundated with lovely messages, it definitely brightened both of our days. I would even say it was wonderful.

[Jon groans.]

Jon: I am..not proud of the energy we’ve created for this episode so far, and we haven’t even hit the small wonders. Speaking of, do you have a small wonder this week?

Martin: Mine’s bad action movies.

Jon: Really? I had no idea you even liked them, let alone consider them wonderful.

Martin: Okay, so, saying I like them is a bit of a misnomer? It’s more that I like what they can do more than the movies themselves?

Jon: Elaborate?

Martin: It probably comes as a surprise to no one that I’ve tried my hand at a fair amount of mindfulness and mediation techniques. I’ve found poetry and journaling have been helpful for actually processing life events and whatnot, but when it comes to giving your brain a hard wipe and reset, nothing is half as quick and effective as a shitty shoot-em-up. Somethings about 2 hours of cartoonish, pg-13 violence held together with the absolute loosest of plots brings me to a state of mental blankness that would make a monk jealous.

Jon: How have I never witnessed you doing this? When are you sneaking off to go see Micheal Tarantino or who ever films?

M artin: That’s definitely not the right name.

Jon: Martin, dear, I don’t care. And you’re dodging the question.

Martin, fond: I’m not dodging anything. Since apparently we’re getting into it, you haven’t caught me cavorting with a movie involving more explosions than character development lately because I haven’t been. Haven’t needed it, in recent years. Turns out when you’re not crushingly lonely and working a literal nightmare of job, there’s less of a drive to try and escape your own thoughts. Shocker, I know. Still, to anyone out there that feels like their brain is on fire, go try watching a fast and furious. Any of ‘em, it doesn’t matter. Or even better, Chronicles of Riddick. I can’t remember a single goddamn detail of that movie, which makes it perfect for what I’m talking about.

Jon: I have the strong feeling that th is is a “mileage may vary” scenario.

Martin: Well, yeah, that’s this whole podcast. Plus, I imagine that movies like this would cause more stress to someone who cares about, say, world-building or rules consistency.

Jon: I wonder who you could possibly be referring to.

Martin: It’s a purely hypothetical person, love, don’t worry about it. Any small wonders?

Jon: Yes! Particularly relevant to the last week, my small wonder is stripping the sheets from your bed when it’s been too long between washes.

Martin: How very specific. M ost people would just say ‘clean sheets’.

Jon: Well, for one, I’m fairly certain that we’ve already covered clean sheets-

Martin: Shit, have we? Thank god other people keep track of this, otherwise this show would be unbearably repetitive.

Jon: Christ, yes. I typically check the website a good three times while prepping, and every about one out of those three times I find I’m trying to do an topic we did 30 episodes again. Anyway, um, it’s just nice, I think. When you’ve been too busy or sick or away for awhile, tossing the sheets in the wash makes a room instantly seem nicer. Of all the chores out there, this one, at least for me, has the highest reward to effort ratio.

Martin: Hard agree. Especially when the y have that slight funk of having been around to long, getting rid of that is such a relief. Speaking of, we need to change our sheets soon.

Jon: We can do it after the episode. Who goes first this week?

Martin: Considering last week was only me talking, I’m gonna say it’s you.

Jon: Alright, then. My first thing this week is Martin K. Blackwood.

Martin: Absolutely not!

Jon: Oh, you can do a whole episode on me, but I can’t do one little segment on my husband, whom I love very dearly?

Martin: Not while I’m sat here, no!

Jon: So you’re saying you don’t want me to tell the internet that your resolve to be kind even in the face of indescribable cruelty is one of the mot breathtaking things I’ve ever witnessed, or how I find it incredibly endearing when you get so emotional that your voice comes out as a squeak, or even that, on a more base level, you’re very physically attractive, and I could lose entire days thinking about your arms alone?

Martin, audibly blushing, voice the aforementioned squeak: Oh my god, Jon!

Jon, laughing: Then it’s probably for the best that my actual first thing is best friends.

Martin, peaking the audio levels: Oh you absolute bastard! Do you enjoy this? Do you get some sort of perverse sense of entertainment from riling me up?

Jon: Oh, don’t you start. As if you’re not as bad as I am. Maybe even worse.

Martin: That’s not…

Jon: Yes?

Martin: Okay. Maybe it’s slightly true. Really, what is romance for if not flustering your partner with compliments?

Jon, teasing: I certainly can’t think of anything.

Martin: Hush, you.

Jon: No, I don’t think I will.

Martin: Fine. I suppose you can tell our delightful audience about the power of friendship or whatever.

Jon: I would’ve assumed more enthusiasm, considering this segment is still, indirectly, about you.

Martin: In what way?

Jon: In the way that, to the shock of all, you’re my best friend.

Martin, pleased: Oh, is that what I am?

Jon, exasperated: Yes, dearest husband, I wouldn’t have married you otherwise. Though, upon reflection, I knew you were my best friend before I knew I held romantic feelings for you.

Martin: When was that?

Jon, letting out a breath that vibrates his lips: God it was...2016? I think it might’ve literally been the day after you told me about your CV.

Martin: That early? Huh. I wonder if that’s what people were picking up when they said they we were close.

Jon: What people?

Martin: I don’t know specifically, that’s just what Daisy told me.

Jon: Daisy? When the hell-?

Martin: It...was when she was interrogating me? And, because sometimes I have to be a parody of myself, pretty much my only take away from that interrogation was “people think me and Jon are close”.

Jon: Well then. It’s not like they were wrong.

Martin, smug: No, no they weren’t.

Martin, sincere: And you’re my best friend, too.

Jon: I was certainly hoping that you’re in this relationship for more than my good looks and incredible fortune, both in the monetary and luck sense.

Martin: You say that as if you aren’t good looking, which we all know is patently untrue.

Jon: You’re biased. You’d say I was good looking if I were nothing more than some primordial ooze with thoughts about its station.

Martin: I’m being completely objective. If you were primordial ooze with thoughts above its station, you’d be the cutest ooze of them all. That’s just scientific fact.

Jon: I’m starting to think we might be insufferable.

Martin: Starting to? Might be?

Jon:…

[Jon clears his throat]

Jon: What I find wonderful about the concept of best friends is, to me, they’re the closest thing real life has to soulmates. I don’t personally believe that there’s some..grand mystic force that drives people to be tied together in the manner that narrative typical soulmates are, and if there was I don’t think it would necessarily be the kind of emotional, heartfelt bond one would hope for, but I do believe that there’s individuals that get to know one another, and because of that knowledge, they chose to stick with one another. It doesn’t have to be a romantic, which is why I say best friend rather than specifically ‘spouse’, but I would argue that the basis of a strong romance like you and I have, is very much rooted in that connection. A true best friendship is an equal partnership, and there’s a sense of..matched sensibilities and understanding that can be utterly incandescent when it happens.

I also think that having one or more best friends makes living life on a day to day basis both better and just flat easier. The dark times aren’t as dark, and the bright times shine even more. I know from my own personal experience there are events that I..that I don’t know how I would’ve made it through without you. Hell, last week my..recovery period would’ve taken much longer if you hadn’t been there.

It’s an amazing thing to have someone to share things with, both triumphs and burdens. Um, also, according to Dictionary.com, the term best friends in English has been around since the 1200s. Something about that delights me, like, yes, we’ve had this casual way of referring to a Favorite Person for roughly 800 years. That makes it a hold-out from early Middle English. I dunno, it’s one of those things that make me feel overall very charmed by humanity.

Martin, audibly smiling: No, yeah, hard agree.

Jon: What’s that look for?

Martin: Nothing. Just. I love you a whole lot, you know that?

Jon, voice soft: I may have heard you say that once or twice. Per hour.

Martin: Only that often? I really need to be more diligent about that.

[There’s a bet of silence, presumably where they’re making doe eyes at each other.]

Jon: What’s your first thing?

Martin: Oh, um, right. Rats!

Jon: The expression or the animal?

Martin: Jon, have you ever once heard me say “rats” as an expression? Obviously I’m referring to the animal.

Jon: Ah. Should’ve known, considering that what, a third?, of all your segments have been on animals.

Martin: Yeah? And? You got a problem with critters? With creatures? With lil guys?

Jon, laughing: No, no, it’s very sweet. I’m just surprised you never became a vet.

Martin: Oh believe me, I wanted to. But then I learned that it was not, in fact, a job composed entirely of getting paid to play with other people’s pets.

Jon: You had that job, though, didn’t you? I thought I remembered you mentioning a month long stint at a doggie day care.

Martin, sighing dreamily: Best job I ever had. Too bad that place was shut down after it was revealed to be a money laundering front.

Jon: Good lord.

Jon: Martin did you...did you know it was a money laundering front at the time?

Martin:

Martin: Would it make you feel better if I said no?

Jon: Martin!

Martin: I figured it out like a week in, but, like, who cares? The pay was decent and the floor was super easy to clean, which is very much a plus for even a front of a doggie day care.

Jon: That’s...rather a lot. How about instead of getting into that any further, you tell me about rodents.

Martin: I would love to. But first, we have a shoutout!

Jon: Ooo, a shoutout. Does it specify who should read?

Martin: Let me check. It...does...not…..

...

Jon: Martin?

[A beat.]

Martin: Right! Sorry, um. This week’s shoutout is from Tim, to Danny. It says, “Danny! My favorite person who shares genetic material with me! I wanted to say thank you for your podcast obsession from 4 months ago, and specifically for telling me about these marrieds. They’ve gotten me through many a dull hour at the publishing house. Also, with this shoutout, I’ve officially gotten ahead on the Superior [Last Name Redacted] Brother scoreboard, so suck it. Love you lots, and looking forward to your visit next month, Tim.”

Jon: Oh.

Jon: Um. That’s very..sweet? I think? Mostly?

Martin: Yeah, I’d say so. Uh. We have to take a quick break because, uh, someone is..at our front door! Be back with you all in, from your side of things, just a moment.

[tittytania]

Finding ChristBorg: A TED talk about what happened during the Coldharbour Compact.

Reposted from my tes reddit bc I want to see what y’all think.

I can't tell if I'm a genius, completely insane, or if I'm just late to the lore-party. Time to find out I guess. TL;DR at the bottom.

So it has never been explained what Sotha Sil did during the Coldharbour Compact to convince the daedric princes to not manifest on Nirn without an intermediary, and it probably never will be since the mystery of it all is far too cool. But that doesn't mean I can't read into it like literature and look for meaning in the other texts I can compare it to.

To start, Vivec is based off of the Shakta variation of the half female/half male Ardhanarishvara, where the gold-skinned female half is the right side. Both Vivec and Ardhanarishvara represent unity and duality, and looking at some images of Ardhanarishvara, it's kinda hard to argue that Vivec wasn't based off of them. Kirkbride even confirmed that Ardhanarishvara was the inspiration for Vivec in an AMA. Now, Vivec is part of the god trio the Almsivi Tribunal, along with Almalexia and Sotha Sil. Shiva, who Ardhanarishvara is the avatar of, is also part of a god trio, called the Trimurti in Hinduism. So it would make sense if the other members of the tribunal are also based off of one member of a real world religious triad. I have a shaky idea of who Almalexia could be, but my theory for her god-inspiration is nowhere near as solid as my theory for Sotha Sil, who I believe is based on Jesus Christ.

To start, their characterizations have multiple similarities. Both are one branch of a god-triad, with Sotha Sil as part of the Tribunal, and Jesus as The Son in the Holy Trinity. Both serve as a teacher, with Jesus being referred to as Teacher several times in the Bible, and Sotha Sil giving lessons on magic and Mysticism to the Psijic Monks. Also, both are characterized as wise, patient, and celibate. They both talk about moral and philosophical concepts with their followers, neither Jesus nor Sotha Sil are shown as having a temper or raising their voices, and neither of them are shown with a spouse or partner. Sotha Sil is specifically shown as not caring about the Night Mother's attempts to sexually manipulate him in book seven of 2920, The Last Year of the First Era. Now I know that 2920 is considered a work of historical fiction in-universe, but I don't think that matters in this situation since I'm approaching this as a person reading a text, not as a person living inside the lore world.

In terms of specific scenes that connect Sotha Sil and Jesus, the first I will mention is that they both use a makeshift whip to beat intruding wrongdoers and drive them away, while yelling about fathers. In the Truth in Sequence vol. 8 book, it says that "[t]hrough His will alone, Mighty Seht wound the veins (of metal ore) into god-bronze whips, and lashed the Prince pitilessly," saying "[b]ehold the wrath of lost Ald Sotha! Know death at my hands, false-son of a false-father!" In the Bible, Jesus found people doing sales in a place of worship, and then He "made a whip of cords, (and) He drove them all out of the temple," saying “Take these things away! Do not make My Father’s house a house of merchandise!” (John 2 15-16).

Also, Jesus had close friends and followers who were called his apostles, and Sotha Sil has his own Clockwork Apostles. Sil's apostles reside in the Clockwork Basilica, and while basilica isn't an exclusively Christian term, it is frequently used to describe a type of church architecture, and is a term the pope uses to recognize distinguished churches.

Another similarity that I found was in the plot of Morrowind, where Sotha Sil's death was caused at the hands of Almalexia, who was someone he had once loved and trusted, much like with Jesus and Judas.

The most notable life similarity as it relates to the Coldharbour Compact is that both leave the earthly world in order to make a deal for the benefit of the souls on earth, and then return to the earthly world. This parallel is given extra weight with the descriptions of the scene in the book 2920, The Last Year of the First Era. Sotha Sil returns from Coldharbour by way of someone "rolling aside the great boulder that blocked the entrance to the Dreaming Cavern. This sounds a lot like the scene in the bible of the discovery that Jesus had risen from the dead, where "an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door" (Matthew 28:2). In addition, Jesus said "after He is killed, He will rise [on] the third day," (Matthew 17:23) and after Sotha Sil returned from Coldharbour, he "felt he had been away for months, years, but only a few days had transpired." Perhaps it had been 3?

In addition to the life and behavior similarities, there are similarities in dress. In the 2920 book, Sotha Sil is always described as wearing a white robe or cloak. In ESO, Sotha Sil is shown as barefoot, and wearing a blue sash over his long white robe. In medieval and renaissance art, Jesus is most always depicted as barefoot, and is frequently shown with a blue cloth over his shoulder. In most resurrection art, as well as in almost all 20th/21st century art, Jesus is depicted as dressed in white. While Jesus usually isn't usually shown wearing both the blue sash and the white robe at once like Sotha Sil is, I found one modern interpretation of Jesus that does dress him this way, and several depictions of him in Chinese art that also portray him like this.

I'm feeling almost conspiratorial here, but these similarities are far too many for me to think it's accidental, and therefore I have to think that all of this is meant to suggest that Sotha Sil serves a Christ-figure role in his story, i.e. in sacrificing own life like Jesus did in order to make his deal in the Coldharbour Compact. However I don't think Sil's sacrifice was quite so simple. After he is asked what he offered the Daedra in return for the deal, he states: "The deals we make with Daedra... [s]hould not be discussed with the innocent." This implies that in contrast to the Christ mythos, Sil's sacrifice was not blameless; he did not come out of the deal with his hands clean.

So, a Christ-like sacrifice that isn't quite as pure and selfless as it is in Christianity. What could that be?

My theory is that in order to make the Coldharbour Compact, he sold the lives of Vivec and Almalexia along with his own. Perhaps he told the princes that he knew the tribunal's godhood would end, and in exchange for their cooperation he promised not to tell the other tribunes or make any attempt to prevent his and his companions' demise. (After all, as far as I know he made the mechanical heart for keeping his city functional, not for recreating the divinity the heart of Lorkhan provided.) Or, maybe he offered to do something to assist in bringing the Tribunal down, and losing Sunder and Keening, the tools that helped them maintain their divinity, was intentional on his part. Sil deliberately sacrificing his own life appears to be reflected in Azura's statement after his death. She said "he shed his mortality long ago, and I am certain his death was no small relief to him." Of course she'd know that he let go of his life ages ago if he had willingly sold it to her. Of course she would be certain that he found his death to be a relief, if she'd heard him say so himself when he was explaining why a god would ever offer such a deal.

It would also make sense with Sotha Sil's character, since he allegedly loved the people on Nirn more than Almalexia or Vivec did, and the destruction of Gilverdale could have definitely been a traumatic enough reminder of the destruction of Ald Sotha for him to do something dramatic to prevent it ever happening again. And guilt over sacrificing his friends could have definitely been a contributing factor to the worsening self-isolation and intense depression in his later life. It would also be a definite explanation for why he apparently never met another soul in the 10 years between losing the tools and his death. Not only had he become extremely disillusioned with the imperfections of the world, he had now finalized the deal he made so long ago, and saw no point in continuing to interact with a deeply flawed world he was essentially finished with.

However, I do see some issues with this and how it would work in-universe. Namely the fact that Hermaeus Mora's seekers said the prince received something from every individual on Nirn as part of the deal, which is quite different from what I'm suggesting. A different deal for each prince would also explain why Sil was able to include Clavicus Vile and Mephala in the compact at a much later date. There would be no reason for Vile and Mephala to submit to a collective deal whose terms had already been decided. So if he offered the tribunal's lives as part of the deal, he would have needed to offer other things as well. But for me the most significant in-universe issue I struggled with was that using his death as a bargaining tool would create a massive problem for his ability to enforce the deal in the future. This could explain why both Molag Bal and Mehrunes Dagon manifested on Nirn after Sotha Sil's death, but since I think they were summoned by qualified mortals that could have been a loophole. Either way, making a deal that is meant to last forever by promising something that can never be taken back in the case of a breach of contract seems extremely short-sighted for someone who claims to be cursed with certainty. Especially considering how many of the princes there were known to be cheats and liars.

Unless, that is, you believe this theory I read about the reason why Sil was completely silent as he was killed. My original belief was that he was silent because he'd seen it coming long ago, and knew that nothing he could have said would have changed Almalexia's mind. And while that would be in character for him, now I'm starting to think that it was because he had already uploaded his consciousness elsewhere. This would fit in with the Christ-figure parallels, due to the Christian belief that Jesus is risen from the dead and very much alive. While Jesus returned to life at the same time he emerged from the cave, the completion of Sotha Sil's death sacrifice didn't happen until long after his return via the cave. While I have found no explicit evidence that he's still around, when you find his body in Morrowind he is shown hanging, with his arms outstretched at his sides, in a sort of crucifixion pose. And after the crucifixion comes the resurrection. Perhaps Sotha Sil is still around somewhere in the gears of his city, and he promised the princes he'd never be present or have any influence on Nirn so long as they kept up their end of the deal. Additionally, the 37th sermon of Vivec mentions Sotha Sil as holding "his swollen belly," carrying "[his] daughter." While Vivec's sermons are hardly ever literal, Kirkbride's comments suggest that maybe Vivec was being somewhat literal in this instance. Regarding this concept art, Kirkbride said "note the cosmic baby growing inside Sotha Sil. While Sotha Sil is dead as we saw in the add-on pack “Tribunal”, the child survived." Perhaps one of Sotha Sil's many body modifications made him able to carry and birth a child, and then he created a daughter through self-cloning or some other method that allows him to have enough influence to enforce the compact.

TL;DR - Sotha Sil has a lot of similarities with Jesus, so he's a Christ figure and therefore his sacrifice in the Coldharbour Compact was himself, and Almalexia and Vivec too, and that also means that he may still be around.

Anyways, thanks for reading and sorry if this sounds like I'm putting red strings on a wall as my application essay to the r/SothaSimps fan club. Also, lmk if I'm missing anything obvious. For me right now Reading Lore On The Bedroom Floor is a bit more manageable than playing the games, and there may be something I've just completely looked over.

[lycianlynx]

Let’s Commit Crimes! (The Fun Kind)

izanagifortune​:

“Get caught? Puh-leaase ! I don’t get caught! Future sight’s real handy for not getting yourself in trouble. Makes it real easy to hide from anyone who might happen upon you!” He laughs, but he knows that not everyone has had such a luxury in life. He’s been blessed by the gods since the very moment he was born (well, maybe not completely blessed, but that didn’t really bother him anymore). He’s had it real easy as the previous archduke’s child, and even easier since he took over the role. But you can have fun no matter who you are! So he doesn’t really care about formalities or anything. They’ll all be the same someday, dead and buried in the dirt. That was something that even knowing the future couldn’t change.

“But that’s the spirit! I’ve been so bored here, so this is gonna be great!” Izana throws his braid dramatically over his shoulder, grabbing the student’s arm and tugging them in the direction of the cathedral. (At least what he thought was the direction of the cathedral. Still wasn’t completely sure where exactly he was, but ah well.)

“If it’s alright with you, we can start with a little prank on the stupid monk who’s been ordering me around! He’s been getting real annoying, but he should really learn that no one gives the great Izana orders! So you know, he kind of deserves it!” Yeah, that guy really truly deserves it. He’s been waiting quietly to get his revenge on him for all those stupid orders when he just wanted to laze around.

And now, the time has finally come. That stupid face would never see what was coming and Izana couldn’t wait to see the look on his face!

“If you say so...”

Future sight? Is that some kind of edgy-slash-mystical bit like whatever Raigh does half the time, or is it more legit like whatever Elphin had going on? (Was that even legit?) At any rate, it’s either not going to do anything, or it’s actually going to help. Chad decides not to question it, but also not to lower their guard, for now.

That aside, the whole situation’s starting to remind them more and more of herding a particularly rowdy child around town. They grimace slightly as they get pulled along, brown eyes scanning the vicinity for anyone who might spot them clowning around like this. Where were they even going, the greenhouses?

The explanation’s... It’s an explanation, alright. Boredom’s a common affliction; They’re not surprised to hear it has its hands in this, too. Vengeance is one too (one of their vices, they’re ashamed to admit), so combining the two into a prank does seem pretty efficient. Weird that they seemed to be heading towards the greenhouses for a monk, though — Maybe he just likes tending to the flowers.

“What’s the plan?” Chad asks, leering a bit — Because planning out a prank’s a lot about foresight, isn’t it? If this guy does have future sight, or is as regular a prankster as they claim...

... Ugh, maybe they’re being too serious about this. (Infiltration missions do that to you.) So long as noone gets hurt, this could be fun...

[familyagrestefanblog]

Theory on the guardian Temple: Mount Kailash

Every since "The Collector" I was convinced that the guardian mountain in Miraculous is most likely inspired by a real life counterpart. Then "Feast" came around and confirmed it to me. So I started to do some research and here we are with my answer and a new theory: Mount Kailash.

This mountain is surrounded by mysteries GALORE and its was such an interesting research to do! The more I read up on it the more I was convinced that this is indeed the inspiration of the guardian mountain in Tibet (and its entire society) we see in the show.

So let's not waste any more time and let's dive in. As always, I have alot to say ^^

As always, starting with the basics:

Just like in the show, Mount Kailash is located in Tibet and is part of the Himalaya. Its shape is a bit tricky to compare but even if it wouldn’t add up I think it wouldn’t matter that much. As long as the Ml mountains shape isn’t completely off and unrecognizable let a mountain be a mountain, the shape is not what’s most important about it anyway (not in this theory at least). The height on the other hand adds up very nicely. As we see in the flashbacks the guardian mountain may have been up high but also wasn't the highest mountain in the region by far.

This also applies to Mount Kailash. It is “only” 6,638 m (21,778 ft) high, which is small in comparison to several other mountains that go up to 8,850 metres (29,035 ft). So just like in the show, its not the highest mountain but definitely high enough to sometimes be above a cloud layer.

Next is the lake. Just like we saw in Fu’s flashback, mount Kailash also has a lake. Two to be correct. Lake Manasarovar and Lake Rakshastal.

The lake seen in the flashback I believe to be Lake Manasarovar (right)

The lake is located right by Mount Kailash and is believed to be the most sacred one in Tibet and has the most transparent water among all the lakes in China. In Hinduism, Lake Manasarovar is a personification of purity and bathing in it and drinking its water is believed to cleanse all sins. That sounds definitely like a perfect fit for the ancient, mystical guardian mountain lake we are looking for here.

Of course, the show hasn’t given us any indications yet that the mountain lake has such a high status (how could it? We saw it in one picture) and for all it is, the one in the show doesn’t have to. If the lake(s) end up having such qualities as well (which I believe and I’m also convinced the second lake will be of great importance as well but all of this is an extended theory for a very different day) than that’s wonderful and I’m more than happy, but if not then I’m convinced as well that it was not just a random lake they put in there but one with a mighty cultural significance.

Beside that, the lake happens to be a fresh water lake. This would also explain how a squid or kraken was shown to us to have been there, since those are freshwater animals.

Next is the whole temple thing in general. In real life there is of course no temple on Mount Kailash, but this doesn't mean that the concept of a temple for this mountain is anything new. In fact, it's really, totally, utterly not. There may be no temple on our mountain but we still do have a Kailasa temple and MY is this one important as well!

Comparing these two makes it quite obvious right away, they do have big differences. The material, the design etc. But once again, inspiration doesn't mean copy paste.

What caught my attention here were for example the big stone circle in the middle that mirrors the guardian symbol and the big tower right beside it reminds of the biggest building from the guardian temple. While the Kailasa temple is not built on Kailash, it's shape is supposed to reflect and honor the mountain because the temple was built for the greatest of the hindu gods, lord Shiva (the main God who is supposed to life on top of kailash's peak) and therefore it was supposed to resemble his home.

Meaning what Miraculous did here in my opinion, is that they simply combined Mount kailash and the Kailasa temple to make their own version for the show that is unique enough to stand on its own but also stays close enough to its roots to properly honor and portray them.

I LOVE this.

(Okay I'm gonna take this little section to gush a little about this temple because my GOSH this temple is a beauty to behold!

You are not just looking at any temple here, all of this was CARVED out of the stonewall in ONE PIECE! This is one of the greatest architectural masterpieces in human history and today no one can actually tell how the ancient local people even DID this.

I mean LOOK at this! This is of pure stone, all in one piece and there is even a gigantic underground section!

And each and every wall is full of smaller carvings from the bottom to the top, telling the stories of their culture, their mythology and believes. And even those are little pieces of art for themselves! This is marvellous! I hope that one day I will be able to see this place in person because... wow!)

Alright, leaving the materialistic basics behind us, lets take a look at its religious and cultural significance and its mystical reputation because those are *chef kiss* just beautiful.

Here is an important thing to keep in mind that since the Miraculous mountain is not going to be straight up real life Kailash, only inspired by it, this also means the show would be able to include some of its myths and folklores a lot more directly. Therefore I’m also including them here in my theory.

Coming back to what I said earlier, that apparently Mount Kailash is the holiest mountain on earth. And well, that's no exaggeration of mine. Mount Kailash is the center point of 4(!) religions, Buddhist, Hindu, Jain and Tibetan Bön. These religions also make the fact that the guardians are portrayed as monks a perfect fit. The fact that Mount Kailash has such an immense significance for the regional religions also led to one of the greatest check points for this theory:

Mount Kailash is to this day unclimbed. For several reasons I will cut down to the 3 most important for my theory:

1. As Mount Kailash is believed by 4 religions to be the center point/or a place of great significance, it is also a place that people hold in alot of honor, respect and fear as well. It's peak is believed to be place were their gods rest and/or where basically the divine energies of Existence are residing and therefore you don't just CLIMB that mountain.

Regional people and believers go an incredibly long way to honor it even to this day and therefore, no, regional people never dared to claim this mountain for themselves and its forbidden by the law to dishonor this sacred place by doing so. Bringing this back to miraculous I’m sure you already see why this fits like a glove.

If there is any real life mystical mountain the guardians of the miraculous would be located on, it's this one! The Miraculous are the origins of the in-universe world and as we know from Fu it is an unspeakable honor to be chosen as one of their guardians. The guardian society was/is located off of the normal society and at least the local people from Fu's childhood knew of their existence. Meaning here again, the miraculous mountain as well holds a great cultural significance and only the chosen guardians were allowed to climb it but for that they also had to dedicate their lives to the miraculous and life in isolation from the rest of the world.

This in combination with:

2. When I say it is forbidden to climb that mountain I mean FORBIDDEN. Not only by regionals and believers because of religion reasons. No. Between the 50s and the 70s Chinese authorities have officially managed to declare this sacred mountain as off limits, keeping it unclimbed and under protection with all means needed. Meaning no climbing by foot (beyond the free area that has always been allowed) or by any machine. It's peak is to be remained untouched. And this also means any footage taken from the mountain needs to be done from far away, no matter how ouf of the world the happening on the mountain may be. And that's precisely what we saw in "Feast"

One would think that the reappearance of a long-lost temple on a fuck high mountain would get the immediate reaction of storming and exploring it like hell. But that's not what's happening here and I don't think it's just for plot convenience at all. If we are indeed talking about a mountain in miraculous here that is just as protected by the law as mount Kailash in real life, then THIS reporting here is as close as anyone can officially/legally get in that moment without serious consequences with the law and Chinese government.

They didn't NOT storm the temple because of plot reasons, they didn't because they are legally aren't allowed to set foot on a sacred unclimbed mountain that is supposed to stay that way. What a great and subtle way of telling us more and more about the significance of the guardian mountain. Wonderful Miraculous, I applause you ^^

But there is still another reason why Mount kailash's unclimbed status convinced me that this is indeed the mountain we are (at least in an inspired way) being presented with in the show.

My point 3. is the reason why Kailash remained unclimbed by (the native) people in the first place which highly influenced its immense religious status although history to the point where it is believed to be the center place of GODS, THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE and ALL OF EXISTENCE.

Cause its not like no one ever tried to climb it. Naturally people did, just like with any other mountain on earth. But here is the thing: somehow no one was able to actually DO it. Odd how humans were and are able to reach the peak of freaking Mount Everest even though it's ALOT higher and objectively deadlier by a long shot but "small" and "easy" Kailash is the one still unclimbed.

Kailash didn't get its godly, mystical and fear-striking reputation for no reason. We are now officially stepping into folklore and myth terrain which is actually exactly what we are looking for because a show called "Miraculous" is going to REGALE in the supernatural stories of its influences. And when I say supernatural, I do indeed mean SUPERNATURAL. The climbers who survived their trip reported of unearthly happenings and situations that made claiming Kailash simply impossible. I'm not sure if saying Kailash seems to have a mind on its own is appropriate but it surely seems to try to defend itself from people who aren't worthy or not supposed to be there with means from another layer of existence.

Sudden weather extremes that come out of nowhere to stop the mountaineering and a seemingly changing environment that leads the climbers into confusion, the wrong direction (away from the peak) and even their end are two of the greatest examples and they fit perfectly into the nature of the Miraculous.

Another myth I’ve read quite a lot about is that on Mount Kailash time works… differently.

This also goes back to its defence mechanism of intruders because it is said that trying to climb it will let hair, nails etc grow a lot faster or fasten up the aging process all together to the point were relatively young climbers died the very next year of freaking OLD AGE! This is not only interesting for the miraculous mountain because it’s a supernatural coping mechanism of the Miraculous origin place using a power we are already familiar with (Bunnix time powers) but also because Kailash’s very same time anomalies are also said to grand a longer life (to those who are worthy if I’m not wrong). And do tell, what’s Fu’s age again? That’s right, a very impossible 186.

BUT, when the Miraculous guardian mountain does grand those who are chosen to be guardian (probably through a ritual or something like that to ultimately seal their “decision” to dedicate their lives to the Miraculous) a much longer life through its magical nature, that would definitely make Fu’s age much more plausible.

And yet still, even after everything I brought up one can still raises the questions “Yes but why THIS mountain? What’s so special about it that all of the miraculous things would happen there? Real-life and Miraculous. For all it is, is it just a coincidence?”

You all know me well enough by now that NOPE, I’m sure as heck not done yet :D Lets get to my last point and this one is what sold this entire idea to me 100%, without a single doubt left behind. This is the HEART of this theory.

Let me explain to you Mount Kailash’s status as Axis Mundi.

Trying to keep this as easy as possible, I do think its concept is comparable to the medieval believe that the earth is the centre of the universe. That everything from the sun to every known planet circles around us and we were the first and most important thing created. Axis Mundi is somewhat like this.

Axis Mundi means “earth axis” in latin and is basically the center point of the earth. It has several ways to approach its meaning from religion, astrology to geography. Good thing for us, Mount Kailash is a complete jackpot in this regard, so this makes it easy! (This is probably the reason why Kailash is seen as THE Axis Mundi for many people, even if there are several others that fit under certain categories as well)

Astrologically Mount Kailash is an Axis Mundi because of its location between the two celestial poles. Its distance to the north pole is 6666km and to the south pole LITERALLY the double: 13332km. Its wild, but it gets even better!

The geographical point of view only supports the astrological because Mount Kailash is said to be part of a several-linked-monuments-line with the exact same km-count of 6666km in between all of them.

And maybe this is the right time to remind you that the height of Mount Kailash that I have mentioned in the beginning is 6638m.

Although this is a point, I wouldn’t bet my hand on for 100% legitimacy, since when I double checked the Kailash to Stonehenge UK distance on Google Earth, I ended up with a distance of 6.900-something km. But at the same time the measurement system there can get quite off in such mountainy terrains so that doesn’t mean its officially wrong. Just in question. Luckily it isn’t even that important if this is true or not in real-life, because even if it isn’t, then Miraculous as a TV show can still incorporate and work with this myth/conspiracy(?) no problem.

Another geographical but more local reason for why Kailash is seen as Axis Mundi in China is because there 4 main Asian rivers find their source: Shiquan (Lion!) river, Maquan (Horse!!) river, Xiangquan (Elephant) river and Kongqu (Peacock!!!) river. now that’s something to keep in mind in future. Each on one of the 4 sides of the mountain, making it indeed a source of life for all of China and therefore a “center point” as well.

And last but definitely not least and my, this one if my favourite!

As I explained earlier, Mount Kailash is seen by 4 religions as the center place of their gods, the entire universe and all of creation. But not only that. Because since it is the place where literal gods can manifest, it is also the place where our material world meets the spiritual one and they overlap (Hence the supernatural nature and abilities of the mountain).

Do you see what this means for Miraculous?

It means that the guardians didn’t chose their mountain by sheer coincidence. It means that this very mountain peak is the place where humans where/ARE able to get access to the Kwamis!

A while ago Thomas Astruc posted this on Twitter

He describes the nature of the Kwamis as not actual living creatures per se but more like the embodiments of abstract concepts found in this universe’s existence. Humans can only interact with them through the ml jewelleries but even if these get destroyed (bee miraculous in “Queen Wasp”) the Kwami doesn’t “die”, it just goes back to its original abstract (bodyless) form and can be brought back with their Miraculous because, logically, destroying the bee miraculous for example didn’t wipe out the entire concept of Submission. Duh. Therefore, Pollen was still “there”.

So if the Kwamis are more embodiments of abstract concepts which need a specific item to physically materialize in the, well, MATERIAL world then this means there needed to be a place of transition between these two layers of reality to seal the Kwamis to the Miraculous’ in the first place. And BOY, this is it!

I’m so convinced that the guardian mountain is the Miraculous inequivalent of our Mount Kailash, everything fits like a glove and explains so many questions I haven’t even considered to ask before now!

Especially the last part about the origins and nature of the Kwamis and how their transition into the real world happened is such a gigantic lore aspect! There is so much to be discovered and connected here and I’m already reworking everything about the lore I have so far and MAN I’m glad I picked up on theorizing about Ml again! I am EXCITED!

But for now, this is it :D

[rachelsheart]

DIAL 111: HOW TO WORK WITH YOUR SPIRIT GUIDES

BY: RUBY WARRINGTON ·

Do you know how to work with your spirit guides? Ruby Warrington gets a lesson in life’s celestial helpers from spirit-guide-whisperer Rebecca Campbell…

There follows a lesson in how to work with your spirit guides by Rebecca Campbell. Read more at Thenuminous.net

Inviting them into your dreams is one way to work with your spirit guides…

It happens fairly often among my Numinous circles that somebody will casually drop into the conversation that they’ve been working with their “spirit guides.” At which point I’ll nod and be like, “that’s rad, dude” – because, conceptually, I’m totally down with the idea that there are benevolent Universal forces working on our behalf all the time, and that we get to choose how and when we interact with them. That’s called “creating your own reality,” right?

But then I meet Rebecca Campbell, an Aussie author, mystic, coach, and co-founder of The Spirited Project, who insists that our guides are actually more like real entities – angels, I guess – who are just kind of hanging out, polishing their wings, until we call them into action. Learn to work with them, and they can offer assistance in every area of life – in fact; “no request is too big or too small, too specific or too broad,” she says.

It’s a pretty out there idea, even for me. And I (obviously) embrace a LOT of out there ideas. But I LOVE the concept (I’m already picturing my guides like a kind of spiritual Spice Girls, with the dance routines and everything), and so I asked Rebecca for the full low down. Here’s what she had to say…

Your guides – kind of like spiritual Spice Girls?

So does every individual on the planet have their own spirit guides?

Yep, everyone has their very own team of spirit guides who are completely devoted to their growth. I like to think of them as a group of amazing cosmic beings who have our back no matter what. But because of free will, in order to receive their support, first we need to ask. Asking is super simple (like, you can do it right now).

For general guidance:

“Hey spirit guides…I am open to receiving your loving guidance in all areas of my life. Thank you, and so it is.”

For more specific guidance:

“Hey spirit guides…I am open to receiving your guidance surrounding (insert specific request here). Thank you for guiding and supporting me.”

The thing about spirit guides is that they’re always there – we just don’t notice them. When you’re devastated by a terrible break up, they’re there. When you’re looking for a spot to park your car, they’re there. If you’re trying to make a difficult decision, they’re there. They’re by your side right now. What do you want their help with right now? Go on, ask them right now!

Okay, but first I need to know how they actually do their work?

Our spirit guides work with us through signs, people, nature, synchronistic events and our intuitive senses (inner seeing, inner knowing, inner hearing and inner feeling).

So the best way to start working with your spirit guides is to ask them for a sign. When I first started working with my guides I asked them to send me a light peach feather to prove to me that they were really there. Within half an hour I had received two peach feathers, which was pretty amazing – and what I needed to open my mind and heart up to noticing the support they could offer me. (nb: I tried this last night by asking for a blue crystal – nothing yet. I’ll keep you posted. Update: two hours later I was working out and found a mini crustal on the studio floor – but it was mauve. Close!)

The more you work with your spirit guides, the stronger the connection gets. It’s just like working out – you can’t expect to have a six-pack like J-Lo if you only do one sit up.

Okay, so is there one team of spirit guides working for us all, or are they individual for each person?

Everyone has their own team of spirit guides, which are assigned just to them. We are born with spirit guides and also recruit them as we go about our life.

I find that most people have around six spirit guides in their “inner circle.” These are the guides who are completely unique to us. Some spirit guides have had lifetimes here on earth (often appearing as “people” e.g. an American Indian teacher, a Tibetan monk, an inspirational business leader etc.) – while others may just appear as beings of light.

I believe that our purpose on Earth is twofold:

1. Evolve as a soul (learning, growing and raising our vibration)

2. Be the light (light up the world by following what lights us up)

Our spirit guides are assigned to us to help us do both these things. The more we allow and receive their guidance and support, the easier our path becomes.

Accept their support, and move forward more smoothly on your journey

I like the idea of us being “assigned” out guides at birth – how does this happen?

Your soul recruits your spirit guides based on your unique soul calling and the path you are here to walk. Your guides are perfectly suited to your highest calling, and waiting to guide you as much or as little as you wish. No matter what you’re facing, their presence means you always have the support around you to make it through.

I believe that we are born with one main guide (also known as a Guardian Angel) who stays with us throughout our lives – and by the age of 18-25 most people have recruited their spirit guide “posse.”

We can recruit more guides as needed though. For example, while writing my book Light Is The New Black I recruited two light beings and a new teacher guide to help me – in exactly the same way as I used to call on famous ad men to help me present my creative ideas in a way that would most resonate with the client when I worked in advertising.

What if I’m still having a hard time getting my head around the concept…

What holds most people back from developing a relationship with their spirit guides is their need for hard core visual “proof” that they exist. For a long time, I was waiting for my spirit guides to ring my doorbell and chat to me over a bottle of vino (clearly that never happened).

I wanted to know their hair color, their favorite movies and where they grew up. But the moment I Iet go of any need for them to appear in a certain way and just opened myself up to the possibility and trusted, the more my relationship with my guides grew and the more evidence of their presence I received in other ways.

Everyone’s experience with their spirit guides is personal, and because they work in the subtle realms, it takes practice to sense them. We are all six sensory beings, but we need to work our intuitive muscles each day to strengthen our intuitive connection with them.

Most people experience their guides through their predominant intuitive sense: Clairvoyant (clear seeing), Clairaudient (clear hearing), Clairsentient (clear feeling) and Claircognizant (clear knowing).

Can you give us some tips to start working with them on a regular basis then?

1. Start asking them for guidance…right now

2. Thank them for guiding you – they love a bit of positive reinforcement!

3. Ask them to send you a sign (e.g. a feather, a butterfly, elephants…whatever you fancy)

4. Keep a little notebook by your bed, and jot down any experience you might have had with them and any signs you spotted throughout the day. The more your book fills up, the more you will notice their support

5. Before you go to sleep ask your spirit guides to come to you in your dreams. The moment you wake up, note down any experiences you may have had with them

“She’s behind you…” Your spirit guides have always got your back

I’m almost convinced – can you share any amazing experiences you’ve had working with your guides?

These days I speak to my spirit guides every day – but my favorite story of working with my guides happened earlier this year, when I handed in my book proposal to Hay House (twice) but hadn’t heard anything.

One of my spirit guides is a woman (spirit) named Charlotte. Charlotte appears as a terribly English high society lady from the 1920’s who wears big dresses, hats and gloves. A gifted gossip, with her fingers in all the most influential pies, Charlotte is here to help me get my message out there and the name spoken about in the right circles. Knowing that getting some publicity might increase my chances of being published, I called on Charlotte for help and then surrendered it.

That same day I was connected with a journalist – and one week later she was commissioned to write a story, “Like a Prayer”, for the UK’s Sunday Times Style Mag (which also happened to feature the who’s who of Hay House authors, as well as The Numinous).Two weeks later, I got the phone call from Hay House offering me a deal!

When I went into Hay House to meet the team for the first time, the Publicity Officer mentioned that she’d seen the Sunday Times article and asked who my publicist was. Without thinking I responded “my spirit guide Charlotte!” Now, I’ve sat around a lot of boardroom tables in my life, but that was the first one that I was able to casually drop the name of one of my spirit guides and credit them for their work. I love it!

Ruby Warrington

RUBY WARRINGTON

MY MANTRA: Believing is Healing. MY MISSION: To help create a world where everybody gets to feel whole. // MY STYLE: Rock 'n' roll yogi fashionista. 99% recycled and vintage. // MY SIGN: Aries Sun, Sagittarius Rising, Cancer Moon. // MY HEALING: Time with friends, time alone, time offline, getting Sober Curious, and being f*cking real with myself!

Rachel's Heart

[relieverse]

How he innovates, dream and act upon making a change:

"They’re never conventional or respect traditions, so expect them to feel proud if they have done something no one has ever done before.

These natives want to be free more than anything else in the world and to express their thoughts or beliefs without being limited.

They love to travel and to meet new people who can teach them something. Any new experience makes them become better and merges with their personality.

These natives simply love to open their mind and to come up with ideas that provoke people around them. They don’t know how to get bored because they just don’t have the time to sit around.

The world is a big place that has many challenges for them and they know it.

The most difficult thing for Uranus in 9th house individuals is balancing their travels with their romantic life.

Having many friends, they love going out and meeting new people with whom they can make good friends. Very interested in dating all the time, they would rather not tie themselves to only one person or one place.

However, at some point, their life will start to feel pointless as coming back an empty home can be painful.

When it comes to the idealistic nature of Uranus, it manifests in these natives when they’re searching for the truth and think of what’s right and wrong.

As a matter of fact, these natives can take such thinking to the extreme because they want to know everything in detail. This will help them have a good understanding of their own spirituality.

They should find a partner who doesn’t mind when they’re leaving without even saying a word because they’ve just discovered there’s a new and rare book at a library in a country far away.

They wouldn’t mind having a travel companion, so they should find someone with money and enough time.

People born with Neptune in the ninth house of their birth chart are usually very educated and interested in philosophy, traveling or religion. It’s easy to influence them because they’re always curious and use only their intuition to find out if things are true or not.

People with Neptune in 9th house believe anything can get done and trust the Universe more than anything or anyone else. This can bring them positivity, but if they exaggerate with it, they may end up very lazy and only wasting their time.

It’s normal for them to believe they’re the ones who need to be saved, so they usually avoid being practical or to take on responsibilities.

Their plans may sometimes seem unrealistic because they forget to give the details on how to make them come true.

The faith they have that things will only get better can surely get them far, but only if they keep being grounded in reality and admit they’re the only ones who can make things happen in their own life.

Very developed from a spiritual point of view, these natives are open to New Age practices and love being eccentric. However, they can wear rose-colored glasses and not think about the consequences of their actions.

It’s easy for them to be tricked into believing in something that doesn’t serve them well.

When it comes to the higher education, they may be confused and even chaotic, so they will probably not finish their studies or interrupt and continue them at a later date.

It’s essential for them to be disciplined if they want a degree from a prestigious university. They have great talent with marketing and advertising because they’re creative and can convince people to do what they want.

These people would be good doing the job of a teacher as well, but if they don’t struggle to make their big plans come true and are unrealistic, it will become difficult for them to live up to their ideals.

Neptune in 9th house individuals are attracted to anything mystical and don’t believe in boundaries when it comes to other worlds. They will search all of their life for a purpose and the deeper meaning of things.

Both Neptune and the 9th house are all about expansion, so the possibilities natives with this placement have are endless.

They want to get enlightened and to attain nirvana, therefore, they have an optimism that keeps them grounded during their darkest periods.

Their optimism and faith will also make them twist reality and become really confused. Therefore, they should channel their energies in the right direction as much as they can.

Neptune in 9th house people will always be accused of being too hopeful and not dealing with the reality as it is. They struggle for their ideals, but they need to watch out for how elusive dreaming can make them.

Things are not always what they seem, and they can get carried away by all sort of ideas and philosophies that aren’t necessarily related to the reality surrounding them.

Neptune is the planets of illusion, so its effect on people is to give too much optimism. In other words, depending on the house in which this planet is, natives can only see and hear what they want.

They’d always be in denial and reject anything that tries to give them a sense of reality. When Neptune is in the 9th house that rules over mental exploration, the natives with this placement strongly believe that nothing is impossible and that they can do anything.

While this may not be wrong, it can surely cause them to be confused regarding what’s real and not.

When things aren’t going their way, they become depressed and hide in a world of fantasy from which they don’t want to come out anymore.

Neptune can influence these people in their development by making them very secretive and private. In case this planet is in positive aspects, the natives having it in 9th house will be very profound when it comes to their spirituality.

They’ll strongly believe that a higher power controls them and can even experience all sort of situations in which they believe something supernatural is happening.

Usually, the Universe answers their prayers, so they’ll continue to believe in a God that makes all of their dreams come true and won’t bother to create a reality for themselves.

It’s like Neptune in the 9th house is their mirror in Heaven, the deity to which they’re praying and that gives them what they want. These people’s faith can move mountains, so they should really consider becoming priests or monks.

In the situation in which Neptune is in difficult aspects with Mars, they become victims of different sects that don’t have any religious intentions.

These natives are the perfect prey for different groups that are looking to scam. On a different note, they’re very sympathetic when hearing life has treated others in a bad way and usually take problems that are not their own as being their own responsibility.

Compassionate and generous, they really want to give, but they should learn how to get detached from their emotions because they couldn’t help in any way if they’d always be shaken by all sorts of feelings.

They make great therapists, counselors and even teachers. These people wouldn’t be bad as astrologers either because this type of work would require them to guide others into becoming better selves.

It’s easy for them to absorb problems of strangers and to begin thinking of solutions. The rose-colored perspective is not always of help, but they don’t usually use it when they’re not directly involved.

Very convincing and able to become creative when asked to, they can have great success in sales or advertising.

These natives will have no idea what to do when it comes to their education because being dreamy doesn’t bring them any of the discipline required to decide for the future.

Actions are the only ones that speak, so they should focus to always take the right direction in life.

It’s like they don’t have a sense of discipline and always rely on lessons learned from experience. That’s why they often make mistakes and after become very determined to repair them.

[malusart]

This is the title page of Oswald Croll’s Basilica Chymica (Chemical Basilica, 1608/9). It was an influential work in the spread of Paracelsian philosophy, medicine and alchemy.

Here we see six important alchemical authors, from the Egyptian Hermes Trismegistus, author of the famous Emerald Tablet, to Paracelsus himself. In his hands, Hermes is holding a tablet with the most memorable words ‘What is Above is what is Below’. This message is reinforced by the images above and below the Basilica Chymica’s title: above we see an upwards-pointing (fiery) triangle representing the Holy Trinity, surrounded by 9 orders of heavenly angels (Seraphim, Cherubim, etc.) while below we see a circle, again with a triangle at its center, this time (watery) pointing downwards, representing Body, Spirit and Soul of all things created (animals, vegetables, and minerals).

While the upper triangle has the divine Hebrew name יהוה (YHVH) at its center, this lower triangle has the words ‘Terra Adamica,’ the red earth from which God formed Adam. The names of the other three elements, Fire, Air and Water surround the triangle, with the three Paracelsian principles of matter, Mercury, Sulphur, and Salt at the points of the triangle. Encircling this central image are the names of the three main practices promoted by Croll and other Paracelsians, like Heinrich Khunrath: ‘Theological Cabala’, ‘Astronomical Magic’, and ‘Alchymical Medicine’; actually, Alchemy is described as ‘Halchymical,’ playing on the Greek word for Salt ἅλς (hals), emphasizing the importance of salt in Paracelsian medicine.

Near the circumference of the circle we find the signs of the Zodiac, connected with the Astronomical Magic. On the left we see an alchemical furnace (athanor) and glass receiver, while the alchemist prays for success in the background, the Christian Cabalist name for Jesus יהשוה (YHSVH) overhead. On the right we see alchemical equipment at ground level (bellows, tongs, crucibles, glass vessels), with shelves above bearing jars and bottles of laboratory substances, books of theory and practice, and a lute hangs from a hook perhaps to while away the time spent waiting for something to happen in the in the athanor or even to tune in to the harmony of the spheres.

Hermes Trismegistos the Egyptian - often regarded as the inventor of alchemy, holding the Emerald Tablet: ‘Quod est suprerius, est sicut id quod est inferius’ (What is above is like what is below). In the background is the image of a phoenix sitting in flames.

Arabic Geber - author of the most influential medieval book on gold-making, the Summa Perfectionis Magisterii (Sum of the Perfect Magistery), with the words ‘In Sole et Sale naturae sunt omnia’ (All things are in the Sun and Salt of nature). Behind hims another alchemical bird, a Pelican is feeding its young with blood from its own breast.

Morienus the Roman - the first Christian alchemist, who it is said taught the first Muslim alchemist, Khalid ibn Yazid. Below him is the advice ‘Occultum fiat manifestum, et vice versa’ (Let the hidden be revealed, and vice versa). In the background we can see a church, possibly because he was a hermit, and in the air two serpents biting each others’ tails, alchemical symbol for digestion, regeneration, and the union of opposites.

Roger Bacon - a 13th-century monk, one of the first to write about alchemy in England, with a Salamander, believed to be able to live in fire, symbol of the Philosopher’s stone. His words: ‘Per elementorum conversionem Ternarius purificatus fiat MONAS’ (Through the conversion of the elements the purified Triplicity is made the ONE.’

Ramon Lull - a 13th-century Spanish philosopher, missionary and mystic, shown with a hexagram (symbolizing Fire & Water combined), holding 3 roses. In the background what might be a lion killing a swan, with the words ‘Cum igne tandem in gratiam redit aqua’ (With fire at last water returns to grace)

Theophrastus Paracelsus (1493 - 1541) the German, accompanied by the fiery Sun and watery Moon, together with the spheres of air and earth [?] (i.e. the four elements), his hand on the pommel of his sword, bearing the word Azoth, offers us the sage advice ‘Separate et ad maturitatem perducite’ (Separate and bring to fruition).

[vaire-gwir]

Some Cat and Wolf fanfic I had in mind pt.2

There is a part 2! Is it less trash than part 1? No, I mean I wrote it, what did you expect. I like to believe I know where I’m going with this one, but who am I kidding here. 

There are a couple of flashbacks, I tried my best at writing how Lambert finds out about Aiden’s death and what happens after that, a sad dream, just a tiny bit of fluff cause I couldn’t resist, and maybe angst? Again, let me know what you think, if it makes sense or it’s truly just rubbish. Feed my feedback monster please. It’s still very not canon and even more out of characters probably, so sorry. 

Maybe I’ll call it ‘I lost a friend, I lost my mind’, still not sure.

Also, English is clearly not my first language, I’m sorry for all the mistakes!

***

He's always dreaming of Aiden lately, and he can still feel the blood on his own hands when he wakes up, it's splattered on his clothes, soaking through the fabric from where he kneels on the ground next to the dead body and it makes him want to scrape and scratch at his skin until the feeling is gone.

Lambert never saw Aiden's body, and part of the guilt he feels fuming inside him every time he thinks of his best friend comes from the fact that he can't stand the thought of his lover dying alone. The medallion came to him later, when he tracked down the Dyn Marv Caravan, worry fraying his nerves into a sickly thin rope ready to snap, cause Aiden was not at any of their usual spots and Lambert had been moving from one village to another asking at every inn but no one had seen the other Witcher since before winter. There was a bitter taste on his tongue every time he left a certain tavern empty-handed, a mixture of disappointment and frustration. By the time he decided to follow the trail of the Caravan the sharp twist in his senses every time another innkeeper or maid sent him on his way without any helpful information had been vexing him so much that he felt almost raw and he couldn't ignore it anymore. He knew something had happened to Aiden. Something always happened to the people he cared about, and most of the time it was his fault.

The Caravan wasn't particularly hard to find, but it still was a challenging decision to go looking for them. He knew the other Cats had no sympathy for him, the rivalry between their schools was older than the Continent itself, and it was no secret that in time they began accepting contracts on humans, turning them into nothing more than highly-skilled assassins and thieves. Aiden was not beyond stealing here and there, of course, but a few times he said he had refused to add more corpses to the baggage he was already carrying, weighing down on whatever was left of his conscience, if Witchers had one at all. 

Once, they were settled in the woods south of Temeria, relaxing before walking into town the next morning. They had found this small clearing, easy to defend on all sides in case of a monster making a sudden appearance, and they decided to make camp, both of them wanting to enjoy the quiet of the forest for one more night. They know it didn't mean safety, but it was still better than the villages, with their constant loud dissonance, with too many eyes, and too many people pointing fingers all the time. Being around humans always meant being extra careful, cause people too easily turned against them at the first sign of any inconvenience. Aiden was chatty that night, the calm of the evening keeping the rumble of words from his chest steady, and Lambert will never admit it but he truly enjoys listening to him talking, cause he can just focus on his tone, and that soft voice helps him keep his thoughts under control. It's less messy in his head when Aiden is close, he can simply lay there splayed on a blanket, his head pillowed on Aiden's lap, with the Cat running his magical fingers through his hair and enjoying the moment. 

He was telling Lambert about this job he did with one of his brothers, something about lifting a curse on the sister of a bastard mage that tried to trick them, and that's how he slipped into the topic of the other questionable jobs his fellow Witchers were willing to take. He didn't try to deny that he did the same thing as the other Cats for a while, as a Witcher he had to do terrible things, just like the rest of them, and Lambert would never judge him for that. At least Aiden had enough honesty in himself to speak the truth about what he did. Lambert had met so many bastards with the face and the acts of an innocent monk and their hands as dirty and bloody as everyone else, just a bunch of bragging hypocrites, that's what they were. 

<<We were made to kill monsters, some of my brothers would argue that death is death, but it's not Wolf, it's not. Cheating, and stealing, and deceiving is one thing, I won't pretend I'm not a horrible person. But when you start killing humans the lines blur out a lot more, it changes you. Usually, in a version of yourself that you eventually learn to hate.>> 

<<I don't think you're horrible. I mean, only sometimes.>> Lambert opened his eyes to look at the face above him and he met the endless green he adores. Aiden was looking at him with an amused expression, the motion of his fingers through his hair came to a halt, and Lambert whined at the loss.

<<Only sometimes, ah? Well, that's a relief considering you're stuck with me for a good while.>> Aiden leaned down to press a kiss to his lips, his hand now trailing down his face to his chest, resting just above his heart, the slow rhythm reassuring and soothing. Lambert opened his lips the moment he felt Aiden's tongue flicking against them, the taste invading his mouth in the most delicious way. He could just kiss him for hours and never get tired of that. The Cat straightened his back licking his lips, and Lambert brought his hand on top of the one on his chest. He had never been one for affection, but since the Cat walked into his life he tried to steal little kisses and small touches every chance he got.

<<How long is a good while?>>

<<As long as you want. So don't get tired of me just yet, pup.>> Aiden was always beautiful, but bathed in the firelight, with flames dancing in his perfect eyes and his legs stretched out in front of him, leisurely crossed at the ankles, warm and content, he looked like a divine gift. Lambert raised his fingers to trail his profile, slowly caressing the side of his face, almost afraid that if he dared too much that mystical creature would break right before his eyes and vanish forever.

<<You'll get tired of me. I mean, I'm awesome, but I'd get tired of myself too.>> Aiden looked at him right in his eyes, the serious look he had on his face was the one that meant he wasn't fooling around anymore, he was about to say something important. <<Never gonna happen. You're always gold to me.>>

Finding the Caravan was not the smartest decision, just being close to where they made camp meant risking his life, but he didn't care, this was his last resort, fear and concern were bound to kill him anyway if he didn't find Aiden soon, cause when Witchers go missing there's only one place they can be found: death. To directly approach the Caravan alone felt wrong, it went against every instinct he had, he felt exposed, like an easy target. As desperate as he was, he was still not completely stupid, so he lingered at the edge of the clearing for a second too long on purpose to make his presence announced. Lambert had seen other Cat witchers only a handful of times before, and he had never seen the whole Caravan, Aiden thought it was not safe for him to meet them, probably for the very same reason why he never took his Cat to the Wolves den: suspect and rejection were looming too close, no one was interested in risking bloodshed. Meeting on the road was one thing, paths were meant to cross at some point, but going home was an entirely different story, it was a sacred space, and it was too risky to invade that place, a balance too precarious to not be disrupted by refusal, judgment, and misunderstanding

There were six pairs of eyes on him immediately as soon as Lambert stepped forward from the line of the trees. He wasted a few precious seconds realizing his first mistake. A wolf, alone and armed, walking right through the Cat's camp was certainly asking for trouble. The look they gave him had the sole intent of making him feel uncomfortable and unwanted and it worked perfectly. Second mistake, his hand inched closer to his sword as a natural reflex, causing the handful of Witchers scattered around him to instantly reach for their own weapons. Lambert remained still, judging that he could probably take down at least three of them before the others attacked him, when a vaguely familiar figure stepped forward. He took it as a good sign that no arrows or daggers were flying in his direction, if they wanted him gone, he would be bleeding already.

Karadin muttered something along the lines of 'it's fine, I know this one,' and it was enough for his brothers to relax a little. Lambert attempted to stay calm while the other Cat approached him, there was something in his steps that made him look as if he was about to jump him. He didn't like it one bit being here, and as much as he tried to ignore it, hostility was vibrating in the air and running between the whole group like a current. <<I'm looking for Aiden. Not here to kill anyone.>> He said quickly. They had met once before, he had seen Aiden at ease talking to him, and so far he was the only one that didn't seem to want to murder him on the spot. Probably he was just a better liar. <<Figured that already. I remember you. He's gone, I'm sorry.>> His voice had a sharp edge that he tried to mask under practiced neutrality, but it still made him sound like it didn't matter at all to him if the others killed Lambert or not. <<Gone where? I've been....> <<Gone, Wolf. He's dead.>> 

It seemed empty when he said it as if he spoke those exact words so many times that they lost their true meaning now, he made it sound as if this was just another annoying thing that happened in their life, and they both should know better than to make a big deal out of it or get attached to another, cause people and especially witchers, die all the time. Easy for him to be this composed, he was not the one whose walls were crumbling.

There was a part of Lambert, the part he refused to listen, that had understood something occurred as soon as he realized Aiden was not in Kaedwen, cause he had no reason to not show up after winter. It was their thing, a sort of ritual they took to perform every season: come spring they would meet again and spend the following days holed up at an inn, barely leaving their bed, completely lost in feeling each other after so long and getting reacquainted with what belonged to them. It took Lambert a day and a half before he started to panic, and after that, his personal version of hell unfurled. For two endless weeks, Lambert had spent every single day searching for him, refusing contracts that he couldn't care enough to take, cause the prospect of a job was not sufficient to fill the hole inside him left by Aiden's disappearance. The voices in his head kept alternating between whispering that the Cat just left him cause he had enough of his sorry ass, and screaming that something happened to him and he wasn't doing anything useful about it. Two weeks made of empty days and cold nights consumed by doubts and fear, passing through another nameless village, threatening mages, picking fights, moving hell and earth to find him, repeating to himself over and over that Aiden couldn't be dead. All he did had been in vain until now, cause now this stranger was standing there and turning the cold suspicion he desperately tried to silence into the bitter truth. Dead. <<I was there.>>

Lambert tried to ask for something else, he really tried to sound coherent but all of a sudden he felt so tired. He also missed most of the words spilling from Karadin's mouth, but he'll have plenty of time to visualize in detail Aiden's death, because now that the crushing rage and grief he tried to keep at bay had washed over him like the waves of the ocean he could barely restrain himself. He felt as if someone was picking at the stitches that held him together and pulling so harshly that his seams were all coming apart at once. Dead. <<You can have this.>> A gloved hand pressed something into his palm, the sound of the leather squeaking in the motion bursting through the fog that settled around his head, and he felt the shape under his fingers. Aiden's medallion. He should pay more attention to the twisting in his guts suggesting that there was something very wrong, like an odd scent of lies in the air, but he didn't, he couldn't. Two Witchers on a contract, one is dead and the other escapes without a single scratch on him, he should figure out that there must be more about this that Karadin was not telling him, yet he ignored that intuition. Third mistake of the day. His mind was miles away, and his body was craving to put as much distance as possible between himself and this place, his heart beating too fast since the word 'dead' had been said out loud. Karadin must sense it, cause he didn't waste time in sending him away. <<Go, it is not wise of you to stay. And Wolf, I'm really sorry.>> 

Everything after that was dull and confused, he had a few scattered memories, most of them were nothing more than blinding pain, but he made it as far as the side of the forest before his legs gave out. He felt as if someone sent him stumbling in the darkness, without his potions and his tricks and everything was as gloomy as if all the light had been taken from the world. The next thing he remembered he was drunk out of his mind at an inn and morning found him passed out in a dirty alley, with blood on his clothes that he didn't know who it belonged to, and throbbing pain in his hand but his mind was too hazy to focus on anything right now. His first thought is that he has to find Aiden. It took a moment for the events of the previous day to resurface, but when they did, he was on his knees retching and gasping for breath. He can't go looking for Aiden now, cause his best friend is dead.

He replayed the encounter with the other Cat enough times in his mind to put together the scattered pieces, so now he knows how Aiden died, he knows where and he knows he was not alone. And all these things he knows don't help at all though, cause Lambert wasn't there to see it, to stitch him up as he did countless times before, to try and save him. After all, he'd never let a fucking griffin kill his best friend. Lambert was miles away in his winter keep, safe and sane like the fucking coward he is, dreaming of spring while he repairs old walls because he doesn't know that spring is not coming this year. And yet, all he can see now is Aiden's death. Every night when he closes his eyes the shadows move in his mind, showing him the horror that he never witnessed as if the universe was performing a sick joke on him. There are usually no words or sounds in his visions, and as dreadful as it is, it's still better than when he can hear Aiden's voice.

About a couple of weeks ago his exhausted brain decided to start playing tricks on him, making him see things he's sure are not real, but it's not always easy to tell the difference between reality and dreams when everything is a nightmare. Minds work in a very funny way when faced with unknown suffering, in a funny and cruel way, that's why in these hallucinations Aiden is nothing like the friend he used to know. The thing is, the nightmares are just nightmares. Reality is worse cause he can’t wake up from it. And truth is, Aiden is gone. Lambert has a hard time making sense of the words he hears, so unusual coming from this person he considers his friend, his lover, his. Some bits stick to him, and he remembers those so well it's impossible they are just a product of his subconscious.

<<You should have let me come to Kaer Morhen.>> Lambert's shoulders are hunched, the weight of those words too heavy for him to bear. A few days before going their separate ways Aiden asked him to spend the winter together and he said no. He said he'd stay and that they could find an overly rich lord looking for two extra soldiers, but going to Kaer Morhen was out of the question. He had toyed with the idea of bringing the Cat back home before, the promise of a pleasant and refreshing winter with his lover as tempting as ever. Except that there were two other Wolves at home, and even if they didn't send Aiden away running, Vesemir would kick both of them out before they step through the doors. He couldn't face his family knowing they'd think even less of him for showing up with a Cat. That's why he refused, because he's nothing but a coward, and now Aiden carries the same hurt on his face that he had that night.   <<I really wanted you to come, I was...>> <<And I really don't believe you.>> Aiden spats out angrily at him with blood seeping through the blue fabric of his shirt as he wipes a hand over his face, smearing the red lines dripping down his cheek.

<< I don't know how to lie to you.>> <<I'd know it if you were.>> <<It always seemed pointless to do it anyway. No one ever saw me as you did.>> Aiden's laugh is as disturbing as his unseeing eyes, and the way it echoes in the dark makes him ache. Aiden wants to hurt him as much as he had been hurt. And the people that know us best always know how to cause more damage. <<That's an awful amount of words for you.>> The metallic and cold smell of death overpowers everything, there are no more spices or fresh tinges of mint, no sweet undertones of honey, the scent that used to make him think of peace, of happiness and the sea is lost somewhere under the pain. Lambert wants to clutch at that dark shadow that wears the face and the body of his best friend, hold it close to his chest, run a hand through his hair in a desperate attempt to find a trace of that happiness but deep down he knows he can't touch. <<I'm...sorry.>> <<What for?>> <<Being a coward.>> <<Something suddenly loosened up your tongue, I see....tough luck wolf, it's too late.>> Lambert feels like choking on the air he was trying to breathe, the harsh truth hits him like a punch. He always thought he had time, time to find the courage to talk to his family, to figure out how to deal with all his sharp edges without lashing out at his lover, to simply be with Aiden and live long enough to defeat the Witcher's curse and outrun their past, and move together somewhere close to the sea where he'd build another boat and finally they could settle down and life would stop being this constant amount of bullshit. But it's too late. <<I love you.>> <<No you don't. You never did. You don't know how. You cared more about what your ridiculous family thought of you than about me.>> <Didn't know how to show it.>> <<You should have figured that one out before leaving.>> Realization sends an unfamiliar drop rolling down his cheek and he doesn't bother brushing it away. It wouldn't hurt this bad if it wasn't true. <<You were everything to me! I can't...I'm sorry I....>> <<Sorry doesn't bring back the dead. Nothing does.>>

Panic settles in his system and it doesn't leave even when he jerks awake, panting as if he had been running for days. His eyes are wide open, unfocused on the forest around him and this time he dries the wet lines on his cheek, the borders between reality and dreams too weak to not be torn apart by pain.

Sadness smells like dust, with a tinge of something smokey and iron, like burning old wood and pouring water over it. The sharp edge of Aiden's words cut like his swords and all he can do is lay on his blanket trying not to suffocate. It doesn't matter that this version of Aiden he keeps conjuring up from the bottomless pit of his guilt continues saying things the real Aiden would never say, cause in the middle of the night, when the weight in his chest becomes unbearably heavy, he's drowning and the dark tide of his thoughts doesn't let him come up for air. It's hard to remember that Aiden was never cruel to him, cause he can barely stop his hands from shaking, and forcing himself to will away the tears is the only thing he can focus on.

Every time he closes his eyes the ghosts crowd behind them, to remind him that he messed up, that he should have been there, he should have done better. As if it wasn't bad enough that he had lost the only person that ever loved him. Maybe that's when it all went wrong, cause there’s no such thing as love for a Witcher, isn't it? There are monsters, coins, and death. It’s a sad life they live and it’s only a matter of time before a beast, an assassin, a mage or an angry mob send them to their grave. They all live with a damn ticking clock on the back of their neck, tick tick ticking away with the number of days they have left, he always thought he had time, but he was wrong. They don't get to retire or move somewhere better, there's no boat by the sea for a Witcher, no lover to hold on to, they don't get a choice. They never did.

He’s talking to a vision that can’t answer him and that’s a sign that he’s gone crazy, he lost his marbles for good this time. And for fuck sake he has to get a grip on himself. Maybe if he had brought Aiden with him to Kaer Morhen he'd still be alive and they'd still be together. There's a voice in the dark that seems to whisper 'coward' over and over and the dark glow of the metal on the Cat medallion on his chest seems to shame him and blame him as much as Aiden's words did in his dream. He's sure he can feel that thing moving, crawling on his skin, a silent accusation reflected in those dead eyes, shining in a sinister way. It bothers him, cause that piece of metal is a reminder of when he failed, what he has lost, where he messed up. It seems to accuse him, demand him to fix this, but how do you fix death? What was that wretched thing reproaching him for, expecting him to mend death as if it was just another curse? When he throws the cat-shaped medallion in the fire in a fit of rage cause the damn thing is mocking him he's three heartbeats away from losing his mind and he smells it: sadness. The woods are filled with that smell of misery, of dust, and grief, the fire trying to burn the metal like the pain was burning his heart, and he stares entranced.

The glimmering of the jewelry in the flames is hypnotic, just like Aiden's eyes were with their shade of green. He'll never gaze into those perfect eyes ever again. He'll never have another spring reunion, he'll never mindlessly trace the line of the scar under Aiden's ribs when he's lost in thought and they're lounging lazily on the bed, and he'll never feel the unique mix of mint, honey and spices that belonged only to Aiden, and no one will ever look at him and make him feel important as he did.  

He blinks the tears away and he’s frantically reaching into the flames to retrieve it, reverently placing it on the rumpled blanket, making sure he didn’t damage it in his stupid fit. He can’t afford to ruin the only thing he has left of the only person that ever accepted him and that realization hurts less than his burnt fingertips. There’s nothing left but this necklace. And all his memories.

After that, he's unable to put the cat-shaped medallion back on so it lives in his pocket until he finds enough strength to leave it behind or wear it around his neck again, whatever comes first. That necklace is so heavy it seems to burn a hole in his flesh, and for an irrational second he finds it fitting: Aiden was always getting under his skin, maybe that’s where it should be. Safe, but he’ll never be safe again, the dead are not safe. He tries to shake his thoughts out of his mind while he walks toward the closest village he can find outside of Redania, cause he's almost out of coins, and the perspective of getting drunk and blissfully passing out without dreams for a couple of hours it's too tempting to ignore. With the last of his money, he gets a drink and a room, and after setting his stuff down he sits in a corner of the inn that is slowly filling up. Lambert tries to tune out all the noise of the other patrons, he's not in the mood for petty chats. He's been sitting there for no more than a couple of hours when a slightly drunk guard tells his companions that he's glad he doesn't have a night shift. Last month the black beast devoured three of his mates again, one is still missing. Lambert spares a glance at the little patch of sky he can see from his spot and stands up, making his way to the guard's table. Maybe killing something would keep him distracted. <<This black beast, it shows up once a month?>> The guard looks at his companions utterly frozen in front of him and doesn't bother turning around. <<And how could you possibly know that?>> <<Sir, he's a Witcher, sir, we've seen the lot of them here before. Bad luck to have them around. Terrible bad luck>> Lambert doesn't bother with this pale man that looks too close to fainting, he keeps his eyes on who he assumes he's the captain of the guards that finally decided to turn around, a curious look in his eyes. <<A Witcher, uh? Aye, once a month, for the past three months. I lost twelve good men already.>> <<And how much will you pay for it?>> <<You think you can kill something that took twelve soldiers?>> Lambert is quickly losing his patience, this idiots are not helping his sour mood. <<It's a werewolf, and I've killed the likes before. How much?>> One of the pale kids starts mumbling again, afraid to look at the Witcher and afraid to look away from him. <<My old nan always said it, someone dies when there's a Witcher around.>> <<Did your nan know how to kill a werewolf? Do you? No, so how about you close your fucking mouth!>> <<300 hundred crowns is all I can give you.>> The captain interrupts.

Lambert goes back to his room without another word, preparing for the hunt. He tucks his medallion under his shirt and places the cat-shaped one on the bed. He feels the dark eyes on it following him everywhere, just like the Cat used to do when they were together. He loved it, the feeling of someone watching him not with suspicion, fear, or hate, but kindness and understanding. It was an unfamiliar sensation at first, no one ever looked at him that way. No one ever will. Now he doesn’t want these metal orbs, he wants green eyes that are alive, that stare at him and care, that challenge and mock him, that love him, fight him, accept him. He tries leaving it hidden between the clothes in his pack and it makes it as far as the front door before he's rushing back up to stuff the damn thing in his pocket and head out to hunt this werewolf.